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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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just-me Offline
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Age: 28
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how do u do it - September 30th 2009, 09:50 AM

how do u tell your mum that you are moving out, and that you cant stand the things that your brother and sister do to you.
I have just found a wonderful boyfriend and the one thing i would want is for them to be happy for me instead they arent. He just left, and yeah i know he isnt the slowest and most responsible moto rider and he left with a bit of speed my bro was just like i so wished there was a cop around that corner. CAN THEY NOT BE HAPPY FOR ME!!!! im over it, all the time i get subtle hints of shit from them, it is making me sick, i tried talking to mum and she just said ignore it, i dont care if they are joking or not, enough is enough, i cant tell them, they will just do it more and mum hasnt done anything. im gonna try and talk to my dad tomoz but he doesnt live with us i doubt he will listen.
in about 3 months i plan on moving 4 hours away because m y boyfriend just got a promotion in his job. no one else knows that though, and my byfriend feels bad like he is making me leave my family but thing is it is so torn apart i want to because i need to start afresh and this is an opportunity for me to do so.
sorry idk what this all says now, i just kind of blabbered on.
   
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Re: how do u do it - September 30th 2009, 02:00 PM

Hi,

Ok. Just You, this shouldnt be too though.
I'll tell u wat i think, u do watever u want to do. I think it'll be a good idea to break the news to your mom first, nicely. tell her a bit of distance, u think would do all of u good. tell her u really love and trust him (ur bf), and u can see urself living happily with him (try to reassure her that u think u'll be fine).
ur siblings may be annoying, but ur mom isnt, so promise her u'll come visit her and tht u'll be in touch. (bcos (my opinion again i think moms should never be deprived of their children's presence, espically when they're older, they did after all take care of us when we were helpless little babies).
When telling her, to avoid an arguement, focus on ur happiness rather than the fact tht ur escaping. and above all MAKE SURE u can live with this guy, u have a few more weeks to be sure.
Mention that your sibling's remarks and attitude towards u has also gotten to u, but be sure it doesnt seem like the main reason. (moms get defencive abt their kids, even if ur her kid too) ...

As for ur siblings.... do u think they really mean it (the teasing)?? or do they do it just to piss u off??
both ways it can be annoying.
I'm pretty sure u've probably tried everything. i know the answer doesnt lay in arguing. ... Have u tried winning them over?? being nice where they're mean, yes letting them 'step over u' (for a while) and then at the end winning the bigger battle.
telling them quietly that u dont like it when they say stuff like that and doing tht angelic walk away thing. lol ... it sounds awful, but trust me, it WORKS.
and then doing all these kind little gestures, getting them gifts, helping them when they're stuck, doing unexpected acts of kindness... making them feel big .. watever. it changes their attitude towards you, even if they're mean to the world, they learn to see you in a diffrent light.
... (they r FAMILY after all, and they're going to be the rest of ur life, it's worth the sacrifce...)
i think that should work, .... after a while, they'll apperciate it, and start treating u like a queen, they may still tease, but if they see sumthing hurts they'll back off.
At first it feels wrong (bcos wth, they've been 'wishing u ill') and u think it's a bit degrading, but think 'end result', not now.

anyway, like i said, this is my opinion, maybe u wont agree, i dnt no. but i hope i helped just a teeny bit.. and i HONESTLY hope things get better, and they back off. (it's very tiring being the butt of all jokes - my brothers used to do tht - NO FUN).


hang on in there
Sebrine.

p.s. my sister used to hate me. .... bcos when we were kids, we were tight as glue, we started growing up adn drifting off, i didnt think it was my fault, but now when i think abt it, she blamed me, as a result she treated me like a traitor. i didnt get why... she was always making these awful remarks, if i met her outside she pretended not to know me, and as soon as i would start talking she always spoke up.
i let her go, i let her do whatever she wanted, but i made sure i thought of her as she was younger, so i could be nice to her, after a while, she'd be like "hey sebrine, i made cookies, u can have half??" " sebrine i'm going out, u want anything on ur way?" her attutide changed. (just saying IT WORKS!- with too many words :P)
   
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just-me Offline
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Re: how do u do it - October 1st 2009, 04:58 AM

yeah, i really think the space is wat we all need, like me and my siblings dont get along well if we are in each others ear to much so yeah hopefully it will work out
   
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Re: how do u do it - October 1st 2009, 05:30 AM

ya! i hope so too!!
   
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