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3ofHearts Offline
of Wonderland.
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Gender: Female
Location: That big nothern country.

Posts: 87
Join Date: September 28th 2009

My family is going to drive me crazy. - October 18th 2009, 03:05 AM

So here's the layout:

Father: Raised me with my sister, a step-brother and step mother. Things went horribly wrong with drugs, financial issues and I fell into suicidal depression age 7-8. He was slightly abusive. (Oh yeah, my step mother cheated and used worse then he did, so her son got taken away but no one thought to even look at us.)

Talking to him is one sided, he never listen no matter how many people ask him to.

Mother: Has mental and physical disorders. When I was a really little kid she had no control of her emotions. (Very literally, she didn't see anyone about his for a long time.) She was involved in a bit of prostitution. After we left my dad for a summer, she continued using. I found her in bed with another man three weeks after leaving my dad, age five. I am currently living with her.

To sum her up, she's in an institution right now and takes her meds most of the time. She's unemployed. Her views are pretty 1960's Christian, aka, we don't really have much in common.

Sister: Used to be my role model, then turned anarchist punk. She's very ignorant about the world around her and thinks in a very black and white "good and evil" sense. We can't agree on anything. She thinks I'm a selfish bitch.

Other siblings (Half-siblings): They're cool, but they kind of avoid me like the plague.

The combination of all of this, is driving me insane...I pretty much take care of myself and my mother. It's like living with a stranger, who really doesn't care who you are. They only talk to you when it's about your sister. (Or when they're yelling at you.)

I don't get enough sleep, eat regular, and am always horribly stressed out. I'm cold, anti-social and can't tolerate most people. People are ignorant and judgmental, and I really would rather just spend my days with books. It seems like even the people who I should be able to trust back stab me or turn away in disgust once they get a glimpse of what my family is like. I'm AM DIFFERENT FROM THEM.

Also, as an additional note: Every single therapist I've ever had has been a back stabbing liar. They break my trust or/and don't help me at all. Sometimes they just make me worse.

Anyways, I could go on for hours more but I think I will stop here. I just need some advice, what the hell am I supposed to do?

“There is no truth. There is only perception.” - Gustave Flaubert

“Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it.”

“I can't go back to yesterday - because I was a different person then”
-Lewis Carol

"Now I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly, dreaming I am a man."-Zhuangzi

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abuse, crazy, drive, drugs, family, insane

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