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Nosilla Offline
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Age: 29
Gender: Female

Posts: 7
Join Date: January 24th 2009

How can I help her?! - October 28th 2009, 03:58 AM

I have a friend that I've known and been friends with for about three to four years. We met in high school and quickly became friends. There was a lot of crap in high school, most of the time it was me not approving of the things she did. I did not want a friend who did things that was going to affect me in bad ways. We've been through a lot together, and I've come to realize that I appreciate her friendship and our closeness.

We just started college at the local CSU. She won a 4 year scholarship, and lives in the dorms. I live at home with my parents and commute to school. We usually meet up and talk and stuff. We're still great friends even though we're in college.

Here's the problem/situation.

About a month ago, she told me that a couple weeks before that she was taken advantage of sexually by a guy friend of hers (he's an acquaintance to me). She was afraid to tell me because she was afraid of what I'd say. And yes- I'm usually pretty harsh concerning issues where people have a choice to do or not do something. But she told me. And I told her it was okay. I asked her if she'd gotten morning after pill, she said yes. I asked her a bit later if she was raped.... and she said yes. I still don't know about this though. I think that she just didn't say anything while he continued to have sex with her. Only she really knows what happened.

So I've been talking with her about that. Slowly getting more and more info out of her. I didn't want to rush it. And she didn't seem too unwilling to talk to me about it.

And then yesterday. I told her that we needed to talk, because I had not received ANY contact from her in 3-4 days. I was really scared about her. We met, and she told me that she OD'ed on pain killers. And that she had to be in the hospital for three days. And that she was scared to tell me. She tried to kill herself. I'm guessing its because of the "rape" and everything bad going on around her- I'm pretty sure she takes anti-depressants. She doesn't have good parents, and is an only child. She's always wanted to be apart of a family, I think.

Anyways. I need some help with how I can help her. I do NOT want to push her into talking about anything she doesn't want to. But I also do not want this to happen again. I think I got it through her thick head that she always has me, for anything. To talk, if she needs a ride, whatever. I'm sick of finding out about this stuff after-the-fact. But when she told me, I kept my cool. I don't want to show her that I'm mad at her- I fear that it might cause her to do it again.

I need help with how to appear like a friend, but really be a serious watcher of her. And how I can help her get out of her depression.
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