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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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PureLithium Offline
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It's like I can't stand her anymore - January 25th 2009, 02:31 PM

I know this girl and we've been best friends for 7 years now. Last winter we started riding lessons together and then our riding instructor said she couldn't give us lessons until the following year because she had shows coming up, her camp would be starting, ect and I understood because she's a top rider. So we went and worked at another barn and thats when things started to turn. It seemed like I was always doing more of the work anyways because whenever the lady we worked for would ask who wanted to do what, my friend would always take the easiest job and just shove me towards the harder stuff. Then school started and I had a really busy schedule, she didn't and she had nothing to do after school, I did. So I said I could only work on weekends or maybe one or two days a week because of my tight schedule, well my friend decides to throw a fit and starts saying "Well how are we going to pay for our lessons huh? We have to work, your holding us back" And how is this fair? She thinks that everything has to go her way or she throws a total fit.

Plus, I was working more for her lessons than I was my own! I did most of the work while she sat back and did nothing most of the time but play with the dogs or horses. So I just went along with it because riding is my life and I really needed to keep paying for lessons in order to ride. At the same time I was getting so stressed out because of my friend putting all this pressure on me. All she would do was complain in school how we werent riding enough. She never even liked horses and never wanted to ride! She always complains that she hates the horse we ride at the old barn which brings me to my next rant.
The weather stopped our lessons in november and my dad lost his job then too. So we called back our old instructor to set up winter lessons with her because she had an indoor arena. But we could only do one lesson because the holidays came fast and our family was getting together, ect. Plus Judy, our instructor had family of her own coming over and what not. My friend freaks out at this saying "Well she works for us since we pay her and I want my lessons." I just kind of ignored her for a while. My mother had let Judy know that we werent going to come back until January, after the holiday mess so here it approaches January. We had temperatures in the negatives and horses cant be worked in that type of weather and we couldnt ride in it, it was too dangerous with frostbite and whatnot. So more days passed and now my friend is saying that I'm bipolar because one second I'm all horses horses horses and the next saying that we can't go riding. Is it bad to protect her from the cold and to let my riding instructor have a life? She doesnt appreciate anything I do for her and she always puts me down now. I'm sorry that I can't afford lessons for her wants.
I'm horse obsessed and she's acting like I purposefully dont want to ride or something. It's not my fault that I can't ride because I can't find a job and because my parents arent as rich as hers. She thinks that shes the only one who matters and I am so sick of it that I cant stand her anymore. She makes me so sick. Sorry for ranting but I just had to get this off my chest.

So I guess I'm trying to ask or say: How do I tell my friend to either leave me alone or tell her how I feel? I don't even want to be her friend anymore if she's going to act like this. Help someone please.

None of this probably makes any sense.
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St.Vincent Offline
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Re: It's like I can't stand her anymore - January 25th 2009, 02:37 PM

Sit down with her, and forcibly explain everything you just mentioned to us. Don't accuse her, though. Just say how you're feeling about all the things that have gone down. Tell her you need her to be more understanding of your situation (because you're going through hard times) as well you driving instructor's.

If she refuses to comply and is still making you feel bad, then tell her you need a break and just spend some time riding and working alone.


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PureLithium Offline
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Re: It's like I can't stand her anymore - January 25th 2009, 02:40 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by St.Vincent View Post
Sit down with her, and forcibly explain everything you just mentioned to us. Don't accuse her, though. Just say how you're feeling about all the things that have gone down. Tell her you need her to be more understanding of your situation (because you're going through hard times) as well you driving instructor's.

If she refuses to comply and is still making you feel bad, then tell her you need a break and just spend some time riding and working alone.
That's good advice but I doubt she'd listen. I'll try and tell her though. And I'll take your advice, she doesnt listen, I'll ride alone.
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St.Vincent Offline
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Re: It's like I can't stand her anymore - January 25th 2009, 02:41 PM

Just make sure it's a good time, when both of you are calm. Plan out what you need to say, maybe on a piece of paper? And keep your calm.

And yes, if it doesn't work you certainly deserve a break.


I am waylaid by Beauty. Who will walk
Between me and the crying of the frogs?

(My PM box is always open.. if I can't help you, I'll find someone who can)
   
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