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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Idealistical Offline
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Am I a bad friend? - November 6th 2009, 03:18 AM

My friend and her boyfriend have been having problems for a while now. Recently they had yet another big fight, and this time the boyfriend confided in me - and he presented his POV in such a way that I really felt bad for him. So I tried many times to explain his POV to my friend, since I felt that this time, she was being kind of unreasonable and extreme. So, since I don't quite approve of the way my friend is handling the situation, I think that I might have sounded kind of cold when I talked with her, like I was taking her boyfriend's side.

In the past, I've always been a model friend. I'm not trying to brag - it was true. I invested a huge amount of time comforting her whenever she was upset, and I would always always always take her side. Because I did so much for her, I think she considered me to be a really good friend, someone who would ALWAYS be there for her. But now that I've disagreed with her for the first time, she's treating it like a horrible betrayal. It was really scary how she reacted - her response over AIM was so sarcastic and angry that I cried ><

So now I don't know what to do. Was I in the wrong? Maybe I overdid it and should have sympathized with her more. Since she held me in such high respect, should I have been more careful? I kind of assumed that since I did so much for her in the past, she wouldn't get angry so quickly now. I sent her an apology email, even though what she said really hurt my feelings...I don't know what to do ><
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ILoveDimaBilan Offline
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Re: Am I a bad friend? - November 6th 2009, 07:37 PM

Well I think this would be a good experiance. I know its a strange way of saying it. But if you don't mind me saying has she done things like that for you?

Your not her little clone you have a mind use it! If you disagree say why. If you didn't put your point in an agressive way, then she has something on you. I think she's coming across as the time of person that will tell you how to jump and you say how high.

Sorry if this may sound rather rude. But you shouldn't of sent her that e-mail you should just say "Look I'm sorry but your both going to have different points of views so you can't always expect me to choose your side or his"

Your a loyal friend and a good person by the sound of you thread however don't let people walk all over you.

PM me if you want to talk some more

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Re: Am I a bad friend? - November 8th 2009, 08:45 PM

You are definately not a bad friend at all from the sounds of it! I think she was probably pretty shocked when you didn't take her side for the first time and it is mainly the shock that has her so mad. Good luck!

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TheWhiteTornado Offline
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Re: Am I a bad friend? - November 8th 2009, 08:53 PM

You are definitely not a bad friend. It sounds like your friend was just pissed that you said something that she didn't want to hear, so she's taking it out on you. Don't feel bad in the least, she has no right to make you do so.

"What do we live for, if not to make life less difficult for each other?"
-George Eliot

"Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."
-Groucho Marx

"Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin."
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