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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
_Headphones_ Offline
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Why can't people believe me? - November 17th 2009, 09:39 PM

I am so sick and tired of my grandpa always taking my sisters god damn side no matter what even if shes lying that doesn't matter it's always me who gets into trouble.

Okay so my grandma had to go some place and she called so I picked up the phone and my sister came into the room wanting the phone I told her to go find a diffrent one because I didn't want to hear her whinny little ass. She freaking grabbed the phone out of my hand and the next thing I know I hear a loud smack and my hand stinging like a bitch. I hit her but I tottaly didn't mean to. Well apprently because I used to hit her even though I haven't in the longest time he won't fucking believe me and it hurts because Im telling the fucking truth.

I'm so sick and tired of my sister and grandpa ganging up on me and to make it worse grandmas not here to defend me! FUCK LIFE.


Don't lose who you are, in the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
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Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Why can't people believe me? - November 19th 2009, 11:09 PM

i belive you.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Why can't people believe me? - November 19th 2009, 11:28 PM

Wait, what?

So you hit her and you're being punished for it? I'm not seeing a problem.
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Why can't people believe me? - November 20th 2009, 01:13 AM

No it's the fact it was an accident but he thought it was on purpose.


Don't lose who you are, in the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay
Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are
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|Forum Mod: LGBT, Sexuality and gender identity, Eating Disorders, Self-Harm, Peer Pressure and Bullying, Disability, Good Days, Friends & Family|
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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Why can't people believe me? - November 20th 2009, 09:40 PM

Hi Frankie,

It's unfair that your grandpa isn't giving you a chance, or at least listening to what you have to say. You can still make up for the times you hit your sister, and he should give you the chance to do that.

That said, try to understand where he is coming from with feeling this way. Since you have had past experiences where you hit your sister on purpose, then that may be what he automatically thinks when she gets hurt when the two of you fight. I do think he should give you a chance to make things better, but it will take time for him to change his reaction and actually start listening to you.

What I suggest you do is take your grandpa aside and talk to him when your sister is not around. Try to explain what happened between you and your sister and that you did not mean to hit her. Let him know that you aren't turning to violence anymore and that you want to use different methods to sort out problems. Ask him for suggestions or what you could do to fix things. Find out how he feels about what has been going on and if you can put some time aside to talk things over regularly.

It would be a good idea to talk to your grandma as well. I understand that she is not always there when your sister and grandpa gang up on you, but she is there to support you either way. Talk to her when things go wrong or whenever you can. Keep her informed and ask her for some help.

I'm sorry that things have gotten this way. I hope you are able to sort them out with your grandpa. If you want to talk some time, feel free to message me.

Take care.
Nat.


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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
_Headphones_ Offline
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Re: Why can't people believe me? - November 20th 2009, 09:45 PM

Thank you...But he's a stubbern BITCH who doesn't change his mind at all..also we don't get along anyways so there for I try to avouid him...It's over and done with and Im just going to leave it at that.


Don't lose who you are, in the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay
Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are
|Member 2007||Senior Community Mentor||Social Media Guru||Resource & Newsletter Editor||Writer||Chat Mod|
|Forum Mod: LGBT, Sexuality and gender identity, Eating Disorders, Self-Harm, Peer Pressure and Bullying, Disability, Good Days, Friends & Family|
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  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Why can't people believe me? - November 21st 2009, 12:58 AM

It was an accident? I don't think that's quite an accurate description.

You say that she grabbed the phone and the next thing you heard was a loud smack and your hand was stinging. I'm pretty sure that means you hit her and with surprising force.

I don't know many people who can deliver such a forceful slap by accident. What would make more sense is saying that your temper got away from you. Is that what happened here?
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Why can't people believe me? - November 21st 2009, 01:26 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Amp View Post
It was an accident? I don't think that's quite an accurate description.

You say that she grabbed the phone and the next thing you heard was a loud smack and your hand was stinging. I'm pretty sure that means you hit her and with surprising force.

I don't know many people who can deliver such a forceful slap by accident. What would make more sense is saying that your temper got away from you. Is that what happened here?
If you don't fucking believe me tghen don't post simple as that.
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT
I don't fucking care if it was hard it was still an accendent.


Don't lose who you are, in the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay
Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are
|Member 2007||Senior Community Mentor||Social Media Guru||Resource & Newsletter Editor||Writer||Chat Mod|
|Forum Mod: LGBT, Sexuality and gender identity, Eating Disorders, Self-Harm, Peer Pressure and Bullying, Disability, Good Days, Friends & Family|
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  (#9 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Why can't people believe me? - December 2nd 2009, 03:56 AM

Let's not get into a fight here :/

Frankie, is you sister older or younger? If she is older, that may be a reason why your Grandpa is constantly defending her. You should talk to him about it, that's the best way to go. Explain to him that you're sick and tired of not being listened to. Well, just tell him how you feel and I'm sure he'll try to understand you better.

I do understand where you're coming from about the sister annoying you thing. I have two and they aggravate me a lot sometimes. We get into fights too. But I always get hit back. At the end of the day, though, we're able to laugh over it. That's what sisters do.

Maybe you could talk to your sister about it? Explain how you feel. I'm sure she'll take your feelings into consideration. Just remember to keep calm as you explain your case.

Hope this helped. And you're welcome to PM me if you ever need to talk


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  (#10 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Why can't people believe me? - December 3rd 2009, 06:33 PM

Hello there. Well even though this was an accident, it came from somewhere. That somewhere may be your intolerance for her. Try and meditate on it. Think about it. And also try and ignore your sister when such a situation arises again so that this incident isn't repeated.
   
  (#11 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Why can't people believe me? - December 4th 2009, 04:25 PM

Jacksonian almost got to where I want to go with my reply. While it is true that you did hit her on purpose (accident means you had no intent and by implication, your intent was to either (1) show your anger that she took the phone or (2) get the phone back) it probably is true that you're calling it an accident because you didn't go through the mental exercise (at least thoughtfully) of causing her harm. So without playing semantics with terminology, let's say that you are right. It was an "accident." Well, Jacksonian is correct that "it came from somewhere." You see the problem is that your anger was directed not at addressing the problem but at attacking a person. I understand you're probably thinking, "She IS the problem," but that's not true. Your sister cannot make you do anything. She may entice by being unkind or disrespectful, but YOU are still in control of your actions. So from where did this eruption of anger come? It came from your heart. In your heart, you have a disdain (if not a hatred) for your sister. You blame her for the division between your grandpa and yourself. But in actuality, by your own admission, you're not interested in helping that relationship. And certainly your actions (and your verbiage in your posts) don't show a heart that is humble and hurting, but one that is angry and proud. That's where you need to begin if you want things to change. You can never correctly address a problem by changing the circumstances. Change must begin on the inside. And that change has to begin with a realization of your relationship, not to your grandfather or sister, but to Jesus Christ. If you have questions or want more counsel on this, feel free to email me or send me a PM.

I do have one more question/thought for you though. Suppose someone else wrote your original post. You are listed as an "experienced teen helper." What counsel would you give someone else writing your first post in this thread? If you're trying to help them, you would probably not say some of the things you're saying in this thread. Think about that.
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  (#12 (permalink)) Old
_Headphones_ Offline
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Re: Why can't people believe me? - December 6th 2009, 03:25 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Keiruso View Post
Jacksonian almost got to where I want to go with my reply. While it is true that you did hit her on purpose (accident means you had no intent and by implication, your intent was to either (1) show your anger that she took the phone or (2) get the phone back) it probably is true that you're calling it an accident because you didn't go through the mental exercise (at least thoughtfully) of causing her harm. So without playing semantics with terminology, let's say that you are right. It was an "accident." Well, Jacksonian is correct that "it came from somewhere." You see the problem is that your anger was directed not at addressing the problem but at attacking a person. I understand you're probably thinking, "She IS the problem," but that's not true. Your sister cannot make you do anything. She may entice by being unkind or disrespectful, but YOU are still in control of your actions. So from where did this eruption of anger come? It came from your heart. In your heart, you have a disdain (if not a hatred) for your sister. You blame her for the division between your grandpa and yourself. But in actuality, by your own admission, you're not interested in helping that relationship. And certainly your actions (and your verbiage in your posts) don't show a heart that is humble and hurting, but one that is angry and proud. That's where you need to begin if you want things to change. You can never correctly address a problem by changing the circumstances. Change must begin on the inside. And that change has to begin with a realization of your relationship, not to your grandfather or sister, but to Jesus Christ. If you have questions or want more counsel on this, feel free to email me or send me a PM.

I do have one more question/thought for you though. Suppose someone else wrote your original post. You are listed as an "experienced teen helper." What counsel would you give someone else writing your first post in this thread? If you're trying to help them, you would probably not say some of the things you're saying in this thread. Think about that.

You don't know me, or half the stuff I do for my sister. I fucking love her and would do anything I mean ANYTHING for her. As for my grandpa you don't know me or him or are relationship so don't go telling me I hate him and I'm proud of it...Because I'm not I only hate one person in my life and ONE only and I can garantee you that it's not my sister or my grandpa.

As for your question. I would BELIEVE them when they say it was an accident because it probley was I wouldn't be giving any of this BS about them lying because it wasn't an accident.


Now can a moderater please shut this post I don't want to aegue with people about this...but if it stays open and people keep telling me I'm a lyer thats what I'm going to end up doing.


Don't lose who you are, in the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay
Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are
|Member 2007||Senior Community Mentor||Social Media Guru||Resource & Newsletter Editor||Writer||Chat Mod|
|Forum Mod: LGBT, Sexuality and gender identity, Eating Disorders, Self-Harm, Peer Pressure and Bullying, Disability, Good Days, Friends & Family|
|PM/VM|


   
  (#13 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Why can't people believe me? - December 6th 2009, 03:41 AM

Stop caring. There are more important things in life.
   
  (#14 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Why can't people believe me? - December 6th 2009, 04:05 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Inventor View Post
Stop caring. There are more important things in life.
O.O" Uh, it's always hard to stop caring where family members are concerned.

Frankie, you really should sit your sister down and talk to her about it.


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You have me.

- Amie Kaufman



NEED TO VENT? CLICK HERE.
Never forget, you are not alone. ♥
   
  (#15 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Why can't people believe me? - December 6th 2009, 09:32 PM

Closed on OP's request. If there are any problems or concerns, please message me.

Nat.


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