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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
ILoveDimaBilan Offline
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I don't really want to become friends with her. - December 8th 2009, 03:39 PM

L and I used to be really close friends.

Now I can't stand her after she got like half my friends in trouble.
She acts like the victim all the time. I was becoming tired of her.
Every time I went out with her she was always depressed and that made me depressed so I didn't really see appoint, I'm young and lately I've grown a lot of confidence I don't want to loose it just because of her petty problems. She always make me unhappy when I came back from being out with her when I speak to her on msn or the phone I couldn't be bothered for it.

I'd like to say I'm now an optimist and one day to be like Tohru Honda (See fruits baskets the manga).
But as much as I want to accept her and think ok she's not that well of she hasn't got what I got. Fair enough. But People have it alot worse then she does. So why should she complain ever minute of nearly everyday!?

I was asked if I wanted to be friends with her again. I honestly said not really, I'd be neautral like civil with her have a convosation with her but not friends! I don't really want to.

Do you think I'm being harsh on her?


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Re: I don't really want to become friends with her. - December 8th 2009, 09:16 PM

You are her friend, not her counselor. It's one thing if she's had a difficult day, and needs to talk about it. It's another thing entirely if EVERY day is a difficult day.

Have you talked to her about how her negativity is affecting your friendship? If so, what was her response? Has she made an effort to include more positive things in your conversations, or is she still complaining every chance she gets?

If you haven't spoken to her yet, I would make a list of changes you'd like to see in this friendship, and present them to her in person. Explain that, while you care about her and want to help her, you can't bear all of her emotional burdens alone. Encourage her to find other ways in which to cope... you could even offer to go with her to the school counselor's office, so that she won't be as intimidated when seeking help for whatever her problems may be.

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Re: I don't really want to become friends with her. - December 12th 2009, 12:44 AM

Well, friends grow apart and go through rough times. You can still be school friends and nice to her but it's not worth your time to be brought down because of her problems. It's not healthy to be around people like that. Maybe one day you can be friends again but I'd say for now, you need a break from her.
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Re: I don't really want to become friends with her. - December 12th 2009, 01:52 AM

No, you aren't being harsh. Its understandable why you reacted like this but I suggest, talk to her, spend sometime with her and tell her what she did so that she doesn't lose anymore friends and become lonely. Inform her so that she can learn her lesson in socializing.
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