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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Jen Kamiru Offline
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Left Out and Forgotten?! : ( - December 24th 2009, 02:29 PM

So I've been part of this dancing group. It was a group started by a bunch of friends and now I am (or was..) part of the third generation of members. But it's more than just a dancing group, it's like family, a tight-knit group. But about two weeks ago, I couldn't go to a couple practice/hang-outs because of homeworks, and then I found out I couldn't do one of the performances because of finals. They said it was okay and I thought I'd just do the next performance.
But up till now they have never given me any messages at all. They don't tell me about upcoming practices or hang outs, they even didn't invite me to the group's annual christmas party! I only found out I got left out from one of best friends in the group. On facebook, they even stopped tagging me in notes about the group. Then there's their status that's always "I love everyone in [group name]! You guyz are my second family" and similar shout-outs.
It makes me feel horrible!! I was in that group longer than most of them (I was in 2nd generation for a little while) and now they technically kicked me out without any notification!!!! What do i do, i feel so worthless... ((
   
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Re: Left Out and Forgotten?! : ( - December 24th 2009, 06:32 PM

Maybe you should ask one of them, the one you know the best, why they are ignoring you. That's what I would do.


Never Give Up On Your Dreams No Matter How Hard Or Big They May Seem..... Someday you will reach them...
   
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Rosemma Offline
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Re: Left Out and Forgotten?! : ( - December 26th 2009, 12:14 AM

Aww that sounds really mean.

Have you tried calling/ messaging the group or someone in the group and casually asking when the next practise is?

Also have you tried talking to your best friend about it (the one you mentioned was in the group).
Maybe she could give an explanation, or she will as least see that you still wanted to be part of the group. That way she might mention it and they might start including you again.
Maybe they just thought you didnt want to be a part of it anymore because you had too many other things going on?

Anyway to me what they have done sounds mean and honestly if thats the way they are and keep ignoring you even when you ask then they are not worth your time at all. Which is a shame because it seems like this group meant a lot to you.
   
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Re: Left Out and Forgotten?! : ( - December 26th 2009, 06:05 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rosemma View Post
Aww that sounds really mean.

Have you tried calling/ messaging the group or someone in the group and casually asking when the next practise is?

Also have you tried talking to your best friend about it (the one you mentioned was in the group).
Maybe she could give an explanation, or she will as least see that you still wanted to be part of the group. That way she might mention it and they might start including you again.
Maybe they just thought you didnt want to be a part of it anymore because you had too many other things going on?

Anyway to me what they have done sounds mean and honestly if thats the way they are and keep ignoring you even when you ask then they are not worth your time at all. Which is a shame because it seems like this group meant a lot to you.
Well I talked to my friend about it, although he said they really didn't talk about me or anything (which I don't know if that's bad or good).
And I did ask another member, and she told me something about me not capable of understanding the family bond within the group. Which hurt me because I've always thought of them as family but apparently they don't to me..
   
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Rosemma Offline
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Re: Left Out and Forgotten?! : ( - December 27th 2009, 03:38 PM

Well your friend said they didnt talk about you... I dont know if thats bad or good because it could be either.
But he might have also said that because he might not have wanted to tell you what they said (if they said anything bad) because he didnt want to hurt your feelings.

What the other member said must have been really awful to hear.
I think they have taken the fact you were busy with other more important things (which should be perfectly ok for you to do) and have got the wrong impression.

The only thing you could do is try and make it clear to your friend and the other group member you spoke to how much you did value the family bond and how much they all meant to you.
Maybe then the rest of the group will accept you joining them again.

But only if you really still want to be a part of the group.
Maybe have a think about that to.
Because they should accept that at times there may be other important things going on and the group should support each other with that.
Maybe you take this as an opportunity to try something new or join a new group or maybe even start a new group.
   
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Re: Left Out and Forgotten?! : ( - December 28th 2009, 04:25 PM

It seems that according to this group, the idea of family is that you put the group first before school and before everything else. That seems to be the main idea.
Perhaps you should leave them because if they can't understand you had other things to do, much more important, and they just leave you then they also don't understand the idea of family. So I suggest you leave them.
   
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