TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
shrinkingviolet Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
shrinkingviolet's Avatar
 

Posts: 28
Join Date: December 25th 2009

Unhappy Going out with guys like my dad - December 25th 2009, 02:56 AM

This happens to a lot of girls, I'm aware.

I don't know how to not go for guys who are like my dad.

Verbally abusive, borderline alcoholic (although my dad is an alcoholic), they yell, they like attention, but when in a social setting they are sweet and sociable.

It seems as though I can't NOT be attracted to guys like that.

My dad left when I was 4. Before he left he was very abusive towards my mother and me and my sister, and he is an alcoholic. He married another woman when I was 6 and they recently divorced, he tends to call me and tell me it's my fault.

And yes I KNOW I'm going out with these types of guys because I want to fill the space that my dad left me with, and I know I stay with them as long as I do because I'm scared they will leave, and in the end they do.

I just want to know how to not be attracted to these guys. I try going for other guys but I just don't like them, and I'm afraid if I date them when I don't like them, I'll hurt them, and I don't want that.


   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
gizmo1991 Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
gizmo1991's Avatar
 
Age: 28

Posts: 1
Join Date: December 25th 2009

Re: Going out with guys like my dad - December 25th 2009, 04:28 AM

To be honest - your not ready to date.
I have no idea how old you are or you complete life story, but it sounds to me that you are not ready for a real relationship.
I am terribly sorry for the trials you have had in your life, and you should be proud that you have realized your issue and are making a step towards recovery.
But until you can see a professional consular, or someone with more experience - I think you need to limit your dating. We can’t always help who we are attracted to, but we can control what we do about that. The way you talk is that you HAVE to date. Learn more about yourself, and learn to be around men/boys more as friends - and less as potential boyfriends. Then, once you know more about yourself + others, you will know the right and healthy kind of person for you.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
shrinkingviolet Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
shrinkingviolet's Avatar
 

Posts: 28
Join Date: December 25th 2009

Re: Going out with guys like my dad - December 25th 2009, 05:53 AM

I realize I didn't give a lot of information.

I am 18. I started going to a psychiatrist when I was 8, and stopped going when I was 12 when I was diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder.
My mom got angry with that lady, she thought she was calling me crazy, and was in denial that anything was wrong with me.

I don't know why I date, honestly. But you could be right, I might feel like I have to. But I'm not sure.
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Music Box Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
Music Box's Avatar
 
Age: 25

Posts: 26
Join Date: October 15th 2009

Re: Going out with guys like my dad - December 27th 2009, 08:00 AM

I think gizmo is completely right. You should wait for the right guy to come along. One that will you treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
shrinkingviolet Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
shrinkingviolet's Avatar
 

Posts: 28
Join Date: December 25th 2009

Re: Going out with guys like my dad - December 27th 2009, 11:23 PM

Yeah, but I don't who the right guy is. Like...I don't know what to look for. They ALL seem right until I realize I picked another loser.
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Jacksonian Offline
Member
I've been here a while
********
 
Jacksonian's Avatar
 
Name: Jackson
Gender: Male
Location: 3rd Rock from the Sun

Posts: 1,522
Blog Entries: 2
Join Date: November 6th 2009

Re: Going out with guys like my dad - December 28th 2009, 04:43 PM

Go on with your life and learn to live with guys as friends first, just be patient about the dating issue. The right guy for you will become clear for you in your heart and you will feel a natural attraction.

Don't pick the guys, just be patient, live your life and let your heart pick the right guy. Get to know yourself better, meditate on yourself. And also meditate on the issue that you picked guys similar to your dad.

Also keep an eye on your disorder. It may influence you and thus you end up picking the wrong person.
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
abusive, dad, dads, guys, relationships

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.