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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
saxyphone Offline
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Name: Nicole
Age: 25
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One of my closest friends betrayed me. - December 25th 2009, 09:58 PM

Let me start off by saying my friend is a compulsive liar. She lies about anything just to save her reputation.
This is not the first time she has betrayed me, or any of my friends. Yet we all continue to let her be our friend. The guys in our group of friends treat her like a goddess.
What happened was my friend Julie and I called Maya (the liar) just to make sure she didn't tell her ex boyfriend a secret of mine. After she said she didn't, we were okay and hung up. I checked her facebook wall and her status was:
" Ahhh... Yet another fight between gossipy girls who are overly sensative to their own means of receiving attention. I'm sorry it had to come to this, but there are a lot of other idiots in the world you can push around. You won't be seeing me much more."
I was blown away. I didn't mean to come off as gossipy or sensitive. I went to ask her the next day if that was about me and Julie. She said no, and that it was a quote from a book. That made no sense because in comments underneath the status, she said it was about two of her bitch friends. I let it ago, being a little weary. I asked Maya later that day, she still said no. But this time, it was about a friend, still not me. Julie went to talk to her about the status and she said "Don't worry, it was mostly about Nicole. (me)" I was so mad at this point. I went up to her and asked why she must lie all the time. She FLIPPED OUT completely on me and started saying I harass her, I'm an abusive friend, and "you call me like twice a day to talk about Doug (the guy I have a big crush on) when nobody gives a shit!" I was so hurt that one of my best friends would use the thing I'm most sensitive about against me. I avoided her for the rest of the day, including during lunch. She allegedly told our friends that I was too sensitive and self conscious. I don't want to know what else she told people. She is best friends with my crush, so knowing her I think she told him some pretty awful stuff about me. At the end of the day, she came up to me and said, "I'm sorry that we fought today. I talked to Julie and told her if you don't want to be friends anymore, I understand." I didn't buy a word of what she said. I told her how hurt I was and how hypocritical she was being. We left and haven't spoken to each other since.
I am just extremely hurt. I don't know if I should forgive her, again, or not. I'm worried about what she told my friends, and my crush, about me and her bs version of our fight. So how do I salvage my reputation? And also, how can I not be friends with her if we have the same circle of friends?
Thanks for reading this long story.

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Turn, turn turn
There is a season,
Turn, turn turn!
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
MermaidMassacre Offline
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Re: One of my closest friends betrayed me. - December 26th 2009, 09:15 PM

I've had some of the same problems with my best friend.
Sadly to say she is no longer my best friend.
If she is going to be like that, and act like the over sensitive one herself she is not a very good freind.
And to say hurtful things to you over and over. It's not healthy for you.
If someone makes you feel low intentionally they are not a very good friend.
And it can be very hurtful when they feel the need to make everything public on facebook and such.
I don't really want to tell you what to do.
Just think about what's best for you, and if its really worth staying friends with her.
All I can say is a true friend would not say hurtful things to you.

I hope I helped.
Good luck.=)

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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
*Rainbow*Rider* Offline
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Re: One of my closest friends betrayed me. - December 26th 2009, 10:27 PM

She sounds like an absolutely horrible person. Get out whilst you can, and stop telling her your secrets! You have to accept now that whatever she knows about you is going to be used against you, whether you stay friends with her or not. So just bite the bullet and cut her out of your life.

If the world is a cold place
Make it your business to start some fires

  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Jacksonian Offline
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Re: One of my closest friends betrayed me. - December 28th 2009, 04:18 PM

Agreed. Don't be her friend. Forgive her but don't stay with her anymore.
But this may be hard as you have the same circle of friends.
So for that, I think that maybe you should just be friends with that same circle but not close to her. It will be extremely hard not to be her friend if you have the same circle of friends though.
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