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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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o0lostlove0o Offline
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Annoying Siblings? - December 29th 2009, 01:20 AM

Alright. So everyone has some sort of experience with dealing with little kids, yes?

Being the eldest child, I know I'm supposed to set a good example and role model and everything.
The thing is, I have two younger sisters. One is 11, hitting puberty. The other is a little 7-year-old.

I don't know why, but every time I'm going to do something with friends or hang out with them, they will do anything to just seriously irritate me and get upset. I don't know if it's because they want attention or they want to make me look bad or some other form of diabolical scheme.

My 11-year-old sister just has no respect for my privacy. She doesn't knock when I'm in my room, changing, she just barges in. Doesn't care. At all. She would act all high and mighty when I'm trying to tell her to do something, because I need to. She'd be all, "No, I don't feel like it." Or she'd just look at me with a smug look on her face, saying that I can't do anything to her.
And, I can't. I will get in trouble for hurting them or for getting back at them in any form that will hurt them.
If I'm chatting with friends, she'd linger in the back or be spying on me, just to tell my mom that I'm chatting.
Today, I tried to video call with my friend who lives off-island, in the mainland. My sister (11) refused to leave me alone. She was just there, sitting on the table I was at, just...there. So that I can't talk with my friend or the people who were with her. It was so irritating.

My other sister just craves attention. She'd act like a brat and be all whiny when I'm with my friends, or be mean to me when my friends are around. She'd be teasing me in her little way and mock me, just because.

I don't know whether to blame it on puberty or going through a stage or something. But I seriously cannot stand this anymore.

I want my privacy. I am 15 years old. Why can't I get a little privacy from time to time?!
Why do they have to be such drama queens. All they do is bug me, play on the computer all day, and fight with each other, causing everyone to get irritated. Always acting like they know everything, like they own the freakin' planet.

I'm sorry for the rant. Or the long post. Or both.
But I need advice on how to deal with them. I cannot hurt them, because that just leads to me getting in trouble (sucks to have such small little sisters...). And because of my own dignity, I refuse to let them have what they want. I don't want to give them the satisfaction that they've won.

-sigh-
Any help? Please? I'm dying to knock some sense into them, but they won't get it. They refuse to listen.


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Strider Offline
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Re: Annoying Siblings? - December 31st 2009, 03:56 PM

Hi Lisa,

I know exactly what you're going through, and boy is it ever frustrating. It's always really difficult when your siblings don't listen to you and all you want is a bit of time to yourself. You deserve to have some time alone with your friends, just like they deserve to have time alone with friends as well. They are probably at a stage where they don't understand that respect needs to go both ways.

Have you ever considered that your sisters follow you around because they look up to you? I know that what they are doing is irritating and they don't listen to your or give you privacy, but could it be that they are just trying to figure out how a teenager acts? You are their big sister after all, and you and your friends are basically their one example of how teenagers behave and what they do for fun. Your sisters might just want to be a part of that.

Even if there is a reason behind what they are doing, it is still downright annoying and you deserve some personal space. If your sisters don't listen to you, then it's time to bring in the parents. Take your parents aside and talk to them seriously about this. I know that parents have a habit of siding with the younger siblings, but just be clear that you want to talk about this seriously and you would really appreciate their help. Let them know that you don't mind your sisters around sometimes (this is key because it shows that you aren't just trying to get rid of them and it doesn't sound hostile to parents) but you really like having some time to be with your friends alone. Ask them to talk to your sisters and maybe help plan something for them to do when you have friends over. Maybe your mom or dad could take them to the park, mall, or to a movie when you are hanging out with your friends. Make a compromise and offer to spend some time with your sisters another time.

I think you are doing the right thing by not giving your sisters any reaction. As much as they might look up to you, they are still trying to amuse themselves and they are looking for a reaction from you.

I hope this works out for you.
Take care.

Nat.


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