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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Philomath Offline
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Should i stop hanging out with them? - January 2nd 2010, 03:18 PM

Okay...I sit at lunch with six other people. They don't really include me in any conversations, I make attempts to join there discussions but it usually ends with them putting me down and saying that what I say either doesn't make sense or completely ignoring it or arguing with me about it. And when i ask them what they are talking about they tell me nothing, so I end up just sitting there eating my lunch. And then, probably one of the things that hurts me the most about this group of people, is that they get together and hang out and end up talking about it at lunch and I just feel so left out, I tell them I have nothing going on in my life that would stop me from hanging out with anyone. Every time they discuss doing something, I'm never included and when I try to get included they always say that there is no room for me. I also have another problem, it's making feel sort of down, actually it's making me feel really horrible because I haven't gone anywhere or hung out wiht any friends sense the end of last school year and this is the last person I hung out with, she was supposed to hang out with me just before Christmas, i ended up waiting for her at my house for an hour and a half past the time she said she was supposed to come, during that time, I called her house after about fifteen to twenty minutes waiting and her brother answered and he didn't have her or her mom's cell phone numbers. So then later that day, I thought that maybe she would call me and explain why she didn't come get me but she didn't and the next day i had to call her and her reason for not coming to get me is that she didn't get a chance to call me but she had her cell phone and thought about it but she just was confused...she didn't really say why she was confused. now i don't know if i can trust her as a friend any more, I don't knwo if I can be friends with any of them. I told my Aunt and other family members about this and they all say i should make new friends, but as out-going as i am, I don't know how to do that. How does someone make friends? And should I give the last person I talked about another chance, should I give all of them another chance? I don't really know...


"i don't care your intentions. I just want you to know my self-hatred never took me where I wanted to go. At the end of the day...I can pick at the pain but I can't cut it away."
   
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Re: Should i stop hanging out with them? - January 2nd 2010, 06:17 PM

Hey Christina. You sound a lot like me in highschool. It's such a difficult time, and finding the right group of friends is a challenge. Please know that you are definitely not alone in your feelings. From experience, I recommend that you try and reach out and talk to other groups of people. Try joining clubs and activities too. You can still keep trying with the current group, but if you're unhappy with them, then try and move to other people.

I know how lonely highschool can be without a group of friends. I went through three years without a "group." Through those years, I learned the importance of my family and that no matter what, they are always there. Take that into consideration too!

Feel free to PM me if you want to talk privately about this. Hang in there, I promise it gets better.


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Re: Should i stop hanging out with them? - January 3rd 2010, 05:51 PM

I only read half of your post to know that these are people who are not worth hanging out with. You don't need to be put down. These are people who are insensitive to other people's feelings and that makes them not the people to be friends with. Leave them, live your life and enjoy it. Don't waste it on these guys. Make new friends just as your aunt suggested. Don't give them another chance.
   
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Re: Should i stop hanging out with them? - January 3rd 2010, 06:33 PM

The people you seem to be hanging out with at lunch dont really sound nice if im honest. you need to find a new group to sit with, poeple who will listen to you and not completely ignore you as if your nobody. you deserve more than that. just try talking to other people you know. find out what you have in common etc. try youth clubs, sports groups and other things like that. its a great way to meet new people! as for your other friend, it sounds as if she didn't really bother to even explain! if i were you, id move on, because no person should be treated like that!


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Re: Should i stop hanging out with them? - January 3rd 2010, 10:29 PM

you dont need friends who put you down and make you feel bad about yourself.
why not try joining a group or club, something your really intrested in, having something in common with people will make it much easier to make new friends.



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Re: Should i stop hanging out with them? - January 4th 2010, 01:02 AM

Get new friends.

How do you that? Throw yourself into other conversations. Don't completely roll over everyone doing it, but go hang around some other people you know. When you find a place to add something to the conversation, do so. Be yourself and be a part of a conversation with none of those six people you mentioned. It'll go from there.

Make the person you last talked about sit down with you and have her explain what happened. If she ditched you, ditch her as a friend. She's not worth it.
   
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Re: Should i stop hanging out with them? - January 5th 2010, 12:55 AM

If your friends are making you unhappy, they're not real friends. Friendship is a mutual thing, the love and support should be going both ways. It's your decision of course, but I'd say that maybe you should find other people to hang out with, people who make you happy and feel included.

I can really relate to this. Especially the not being so out going. Join something, like a club, or activity at school that you think you would enjoy or like to try, also maybe something that you know once you join you really have to get involved in. I'm a part of the drama program at my school and I found it really helped me make friends, it gave me a feeling of belonging, and I would have to talk to others. So maybe you could try something like that, except with something you'd enjoy, and if it's drama go for it, cuz it's really fun, but I'm biased when it comes to drama .




I hope it all works out
   
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