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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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thisiscourtney Offline
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Do I have the right to be angry? - May 15th 2010, 01:34 PM

Today, I went over to my friend's yard sale where I found a music magazine from a few years back. As I was flipping through it, I came across a poster of my favorite band, that is now broken up. Since I have nothing to remember them by, and since her mom told me I can take anything I want, I took the poster. My friend saw the lead singer, said, "Oh my gosh, he's so hot!" and snatched it from my hand, then said if I wanted it back I would need to pay $5. She knows better than anyone that I adored this band's music, and after finally resorting to begging, I simply left. She said it's ridiculous that I'm so angry over it. I actually started crying (once I got home) not because of the fact that I didn't get the poster, but just because of the way she acted about the whole thing, even though she's been known to deal with things unfairly for a long time. It might just be hormones messing with me, but I really feel like this is the last straw in our friendship. She's done so many things already and this just put the icing on the cake. But I want to know: does my anger seem reasonable at all?

Waitin' for my ruca.
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TheBabyEater Offline
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Re: Do I have the right to be angry? - May 15th 2010, 02:11 PM

I've had a friend like this once or twice before, where they in all honesty treat you like dirt but it's never any one thing so bad that you feel you have a right to stop hanging out with them. It's just a series of little things here and there that seem like nothing, but still kind of hurt, a lot. Especially when they call it stupid for you to be upset by it. How would she like it if you did the same to her? Well, she probably wouldn't want to show it, but I doubt she'd be happy with it.

No, the poster shouldn't be that important to you that you get so upset. But her friendship, and her respect, SHOULD be. The way I see it, you're not really upset over the poster, even if you really want it. But really, it's just the way she handled it and the things she said and did. And really, the things she says and do all the time. This, you really do have every right to be upset over.

The thing is, it's kind of up to you to decide. If she has been treating you like crap for a long time, then you can certainly hang out with other friends. Maybe give her a break for awhile, not go over for a month or so and see what she does. Though keep in mind, breaking off a friendship like this is not easy. Because they're a series of little things, little things said and done, you may find yourself quickly forgiving her and even forgetting it all. Yet when she does something again, all the memories of how she's treated you in the past come rushing back. I know I'm in the middle of a very similar problem. I've got a friend that I love hanging out with and acting stupid with, but she really can say and do the most hurtful things, yet when I see her again and we're listening to Journey in my car, I completely forget what she said just that morning.

The best advice I can give to you though... would maybe be simply talking to her. Explain all this, why you were upset, and what she just keeps doing to you. Friends should RESPECT you, and treat you the same way you treat them. If she can't understand this, especially if she keeps calling your reasons for being upset stupid, then cut it off.

Take me seriously.
I dare you.

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Re: Do I have the right to be angry? - May 27th 2010, 12:30 AM

You do have a right to be upset about it but realli i dont think its worth losin a friendship over. Yes she handled the situation the wrong way.. Try talkin to her about how you feel

ღ▫You'll never leave where you are until [you] decide where you'd rather be▫ღ
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