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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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punkchique Offline
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Friend's dad has alzheimer's... - May 19th 2010, 05:11 AM

I have a friend, A, who is 18, but his father is quite old and has Alzheimer's. He is slowly deteriorating in front of A and his family's eyes and its been really tough on A. Recently, I was talking to A online and he told me that he was home. When I asked him why he told me that his dad was doing a lot worse and he came home to be with him. I said that I was sorry for him and his family and that I hoped his dad got better. After that there was a really long pause in the conversation. I didn't want him to think that he scared me off or made me nervous by mentioning thins, but I didn't know how to talk about it with him so I changed the subject and asked him how school was I felt so stupid after that.

See the things is, I've known A for less than a year and its been a long distance communication as we live in different countries but met while on vacation. I have no idea what to say about his family's situation without encroaching on deeply emotional territory or sounding stupid or insensitive.

I visited him once and met both of his parents who are both very nice people and I know this is really hard on their entire family. And i can't even possibly begin to imagine how much of an emotional time it is for them right now.

Is he willing or reaching out for me to talk by mentioning the real reason why he was home instead of covering it up? Or was he just saying it in passing and should I continue to change the subject?

Sorry about the long post, I just don't want to leave a friend in need if he could be possibly reaching out to me.
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Re: Friend's dad has alzheimer's... - May 20th 2010, 12:07 AM

Why not ask your friend what he'd like you to do? "I'm sorry to hear about your father's illness. Please know that I'm here for you, but I don't want to upset you by bringing it up, either. Would you prefer that we talk about other things?"

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