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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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alonealways Offline
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FRICK! "Brother" tells me NOTHING. - May 20th 2010, 06:41 AM

I can't stand it! I just can't stand it! My best friend! My "brother". & He's been acting really weird ALL day. See, (let's call him A). A has been off his adhd medications and I've been kinda off-and-on bickering with him about it for a little bit now. I decided yesterday to leave it be and told him it was his decision and that I just cared so much about him. He said it was fine, he forgives me, he just wants support.

Well the next morning comes along and he doesn't text me. (Mind you the typical day goes as follows: I wake up to a text that says "good morning my love <3 (: " or something like that, and we text until I see him at school. Then we text throughout the school day and I see him in between some classes and we always stop to chat. Then at lunch we talk and hang out and whatever. We go to class and I see him in between 5th & 6th. Then after school we text ALL day until we both fall asleep.) I figure he just doesn't want to text so I don't flip. Then I get to school and he doesn't even make eye contact with me. I figure he's just tired or needs his space since we've been talking an extra lot lately. So I give him his space. Then after first he sees me and freaks out and goes, "HEY sis!! " all smiley and hugs and stuff. I thought, "Okay maybe he had an off morning."

Then at lunch he gets all shaky and weird. He tells a bunch of people what's going on but not me. He tells me after school that he will never tell me. I get a text from my friend later saying that he broke up with his boyfriend and to not tell anybody. I get upset that I heard this through the grapevine. A isn't even really all that close to this girl he told first. And his supposed sister doesn't even get a text letting her know. I don't get what's going on with him. Was it something I did? A always tells me everything. And now I don't know what to do. It's ticking me off though.. What do I do?? He won't even talk to me. I've tried calling, texting, everything. I'm willing to wait until morning before OFFICIALLY freaking out but this is already so extremely different from his normal personality that I kinda can't help but freak out.

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Re: FRICK! "Brother" tells me NOTHING. - May 20th 2010, 09:24 AM

Whoa, let me tell you this..

Truth hurts but let me tell you.. I'm exactly the same as my "bestfriend"; I am like your A person, and my bestfriend's trying to make me tell him everything but sometimes it's where you've gotta wait.

He doesn't need all that. All he wants is support, just get along with him and don't keep going on about it.

Just keep calm and he'll come to you.


Live the life.
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alonealways Offline
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Re: FRICK! "Brother" tells me NOTHING. - May 20th 2010, 01:29 PM

It's not like I'm giving him a hard time about not telling me. I just feel like I must have done something since he's telling everybody else and won't even keep on a regular conversation with me. He's making me realize something's up but he won't tell me what. That makes me mad.

And I have to say, we have been the best of friends. When he was upset he asked me to please come over and I walked the 20 minutes to his house and sat with him and talked to him and helped him out. When he didn't want to be alone at work I walked the mile to the store and helped him stock things and when his manager came around the corner I pretended to shop. I ended up staying there for 4 hours. When I texted him one day he realized I was upset and I went on a walk wanting to be alone. He started walking and met me at the park and made me go over to his house cause he didn't want me to be alone. We're there for each other. We tell each other everything. And the fact that he will "NEVER" tell me, upsets me. I don't get what I did wrong.

I wouldn't care if he only told his boyfriend. I wouldn't care if he only told his family or his cousin or whatever. But the fact that he's telling all these people he's not even all that close to and not me, seems odd.

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Re: FRICK! "Brother" tells me NOTHING. - May 20th 2010, 05:31 PM

I've definitely done what A is doing before. Sometimes, you're just too ashamed or embarrassed to tell your closest friends what's going on. It can be easier to talk to someone you hardly know (I mean, YOU'RE opening up to a bunch of strangers on TeenHelp!). Strangers' opinions don't matter as much as close friends' opinions... so if he feels like you might not be 100% supportive about this break-up, he may try to avoid you for a while, until all of this blows over.

I agree with what the above poster said. Sometimes, people just want support... no questions, no judging... just listening and offering physical/emotional comfort. Let him know that you're willing to offer that, and back off COMPLETELY regarding his "off" behavior. Let him know he has ONE FRIEND who will definitely be there for him, no matter what happens. He may not open up to you right then and there, and he may never want to tell you what happened... but he'll know you're there for him, and that's what's most important. =)

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Re: FRICK! "Brother" tells me NOTHING. - May 20th 2010, 06:05 PM

Hey there,

I wouldn't be angry towards your friend, and I wouldn't worry so much that your friendship has changed.
Most likely, this is just a one day thing, and probably won't change the relationship that the two of you have.

Sometimes it's easier to tell strangers what's going on then it is to tell our closest friends. It's weird, but a lot of times when we tell our close friends about a breakup or something of the sort, we feel ashamed. Your friend may be blaming himself for what happened between him and his boyfriend, and he might be afraid that others will be judgmental of him if he tells them. It's obviously going to be far less painful if a mere acquaintance judges you than it is if your best friend does. He's having a hard time right now, so he's obviously not going to be 100% himself. Tomorrow, go up to him and approach him like you would every day. Act like nothing's happened, and everything is fine. He might start to feel more comfortable that way, and things may go back to normal. After a few days/weeks, confront him about the whole situation, but make sure that he seems to be a bit happier and more himself first.

I hope everything works out!

A lonely soul in a land of broken hearts

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Re: FRICK! "Brother" tells me NOTHING. - May 21st 2010, 01:43 PM

Thanks for the help! And I wasn't really MAD that he wouldn't tell me. More hurt I guess. And I think the main thing is that he wouldn't even talk to me. I just wanted him to say hi. xP

The morning came and he came up to me crying. He felt like he didn't really have anybody else to go to cause nobody else was understanding like I would. Everything was kind of blown out proportion since I was exhausted from rehearsals all week and he was exhausted from being off his pill.

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