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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Name: Meg Johnston
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My mum really pisses me off - May 28th 2010, 11:47 PM

My mum is 41, 42 in July and she acts younger than me (I'm 17 in July). She has a boyfriend (who is married with young children) who is closer to my age than he is her's, and she does nothing but talk about him, which gets really annoying. If I try to tell her something, like about school, she'll change the subject to him. She is really bad with money and spends nearly everything she earns on gifts for him or herself (she bought him a $1000 bike with accessories, and buys herself clothes, cameras, laptops etc.) so we have little left for groceries or stuff that I need (like shoes and school supplies). Every time I earn money she'll take it from me. I haven't worked in a few months, but a teacher from school is going to Germany for the whole of June and will pay me to look after her garden while she's away. I will do 3 hours a week then she'll pay me $120 at the end of the month. I know that as soon as I get it my mum will say she needs it and will pay me back when she gets paid and I'll never see the money again. Aside from that, she also insults me (she called me a fatass just the other day, and even though I'm kind of overweight, she's got at least 80lb on me, and even if she didn't, I'm 16 years old and already insecure about my appearance) and then she tries to be cute about it without actually apologizing. She's also a mega-hypochondriac and makes a huge deal about being sick, but if I get sick or hurt she'll tell me to stop over reacting even if there is something seriously wrong with me (in March I got a horrible chest infection and she didn't take me to the doctor so it took like 4 weeks to go away, and I am currently hiding a cracked rib from her, which is really hard because it is painful to move and laugh etc.). She has also told me on several occasions that when I was born she didn't want another girl and wished I was a boy. When she found out the my sister is transgendered, she was of course supportive of her, but that meant I was essentially now the only girl and she tried to mold me into a perfect girlie girl, even though I don't have that kind of personality. I'm not a tomboy or anything, I am girlie in my own way, but she wishes that I'd wear heels instead of sneakers, and not wear guys' shirts, and wear make-up. It makes me really angry because she really needs to stop acting like a 13 year old. I don't know what to do about her. I don't want her taking my money, but I don't want to offend her by telling her to grow up. Sorry for the long rant, I am looking for advice but mainly I just need to vent.
   
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Re: My mum really pisses me off - June 1st 2010, 02:45 AM

I am so sorry to hear that your mother treats you this way. =( I know that you'll be old enough to move out in a year's time, but would it be possible to spend some time with other family members over the school breaks? Just so you don't always have to be surrounded by this negativity?

I don't think lying to parents is a good idea on normal occasions... but you may want to do so in order to hide the $120 you'll receive at the end of the month. Do you have a safety deposit box, locked piggy bank, or some place in your room where you could hide the cash? If your mom asks, say that you're still waiting on payment. Just keep saying that, over and over again, and hopefully she'll drop the issue after a few weeks.

As for the cracked rib, I really think you ought to tell someone about that. Could you talk to your older sibling and ask for a ride to the doctor's? Or talk to a school counselor/nurse and explain that your mother isn't willing to seek medical treatment for you? Keep in mind that this could be interpreted as child abuse/neglect, so the people at your school may want to contact child/youth services about what's going on. Personally, I don't think that would be such a bad thing... but only you can decide whether or not that's something you'd like to pursue.

Hang in there. <3





   
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