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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Guernica Offline
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Best friend? - June 4th 2010, 01:12 AM

So my best friend doesn't really acknowledge my existence.
She says I'm her best friend, but I don't feel it or see it.
She has two other best friends. One of whom she ALWAYS hangs out with at school. And she always walks to class with him, and never makes plans with me. I knew her before he came along. I didn't text her for a couple days because I wanted to see how long it would take for her to text me first, and she did last night, and she said she had a problem with this guy.
So i listened, but I didn't really know what to say. And she said she wanted to leave, so I asked why. And I was starting to get a little angry because she was willing to give up for a BOY. And she just said it didn't matter. And then she said whatever, goodnight. So I was really upset last night. She won't let me talk it out with her, and I'm supposed to be her best friend. She treats me like shit, and only wants me around as a last resort for plans it seems. I've brought it up, and she didn't see it. But everyone else I know has seen it and can't see why we're best friends.
I don't know what to do. Where do I go from here?
   
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Re: Best friend? - June 4th 2010, 01:22 AM

Being honest, she doesn't sound like a friend worth having around. She won't give you the time of day, you try talking to her and she blows you off - I don't see her habits changing anytime soon.

I would say start keeping your distance and if she asks about it, be honest with her about why you're not wanting to hang out with her. You deserve to have friends around you who will treat you like a friend, not a friend of convince.
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Re: Best friend? - June 4th 2010, 01:23 AM

I agree with Steph. Unfortunately, things change. You may have been best friends a long time ago, but as the two of you began to meet new people and develop new interests, you may have grown apart. She may be calling you her "best friend" out of habit, because that was once the case. Maybe she doesn't want to hurt your feelings by admitting she's no longer as close to you as she once was. Perhaps you're right, and she's just holding on to you as a "last resort" when things don't work out with her other friends.

Whatever the case may be, I think you need to do what's best for you. Stop worrying about what's going on in her life, and focus on what you want in your own life. Stop trying to analyze her behavior or what she's thinking, because in the end, you'll never know what her motives are with absolute certainty. Even if you did know, you wouldn't be able to change her. The only thing you CAN change is what YOU do. =)





   
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Re: Best friend? - June 5th 2010, 02:51 AM

I know it hurts; I've had the same experience.

I realized what a friend is. Trust is everything.
If I were you, I'd let this person go and let it be.
She doesn't deserve you if this is how she treats you.
   
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Re: Best friend? - June 6th 2010, 03:54 AM

Just staright out tell her how your feeling & then stop taking crap from her & life your life.
Nobody says you got to be best friends forever. & somtimes things just fade. She's probly just going throuhg aliittle selfish fase that alot of teens go throuhg, who just can't see what their doing or who their blowing off with lust getts in the way.
Try not to take it so personal, I know it hurts but thier are other people I"m sure you can spend time with.
   
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Re: Best friend? - June 6th 2010, 05:03 PM

Somthing like that happened to me. i was her "best freind", but only if she didnt have her other friend or bf around. so, i said i wasnt going to take being treated like that, i stoped talking to her, stoped hanging out in the backround with her other best friend and her bf and hung out with my other friends. then her other best friend turned out to be a jerk to her so she came back to me apologizing and saying she was wrong ect ect. so, give her space and dont take her crap, you deserve better :3
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