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Jessica__111 Offline
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serious advice, where do i go? - June 4th 2010, 04:19 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of rape or abuse, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

last year i got on a train and came to the other side of the country, to be away from my family, my mum and my sister. everyday i feel like im not supposed to be here, but i dont want to go home,
My sister called me today, its the first we'd spoken in nearly a year since i left, she was histerical crying and talking i could hardly understand her, she asked me to move to new zealand with her, to run away with her, she understood why i ran away and she wants to do the same now, except with me.

I left with my boyffeind a year ago, we were living in a dodgy sharehouse for a long time over here, we have our own place now and have bulit ourselfs lives over here and now im supposed to leave it all for her, because she gets why i left? shes a year older then me and im 17, she was really all i had when i was a kid, i dont know my family because there bad people, and i dont know my dad, all we had was my mum, who put us in 13 differnt schools and got engaged to 4 different men our "stepdads".

When i was younger i was raped, i have HSV and i cannot have children, my boyfreind doesnt know this, even though he has it aswell. i cant live with the guilt of this any longer, when he finds out he will leave me, and i will have nowhere to live. If i dont say yes to my sister now and leave my beautiful boyfreind and this life ive built then im going to loose it all eventually anyway. But my boyfreind doesnt know that, he would be devistated if we broke up, he was in rehab when we left and both made a pact to start our lives over again, just us, together and we have. and now i have to leave it, for my sister.

I love my sister and i know exactly how she feels, we need to be together, she completes me, but i mean everything to my boyfreind, i could never hurt him like that, but he will leave me in the end anyway
my boyfeind and my sister hate eachother, they were freinds before we got together

what do i do?

Last edited by Jessica__111; June 4th 2010 at 04:25 AM.
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Re: serious advice, where do i go? - June 4th 2010, 05:20 PM

I'm sorry to hear that you've been through so much. =( I'm glad that you were able to leave and start a new, better life. I know things may seem tough right now, but you're going to get through this, just like you got through everything else. Hang in there!

You need to tell your boyfriend about having HSV. Does he know he has HSV? Did he already have it before you started dating, or did he receive the infection while dating you? HSV is contagious, so you have an obligation to tell him (so that he cannot infect another else in the future). If you are the reason why he has HSV, then yes, he may leave you when he finds out you knowingly infected him.

If your boyfriend decides to leave you, then I think you should go be with your sister. It sounds like you're very close to her, and together, the two of you can combine your finances and make it, just like you did with your boyfriend. If your boyfriend decides to stay with you, then perhaps a compromise could be reached. Maybe your sister could come to where YOU'RE living instead. Maybe you and your boyfriend could move together.

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