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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Going nuts - June 14th 2010, 03:42 PM

Hi

I'm going nuts coz of my family situtation. My folks split up in the New Year and I moved out with mom and my three younger siblings. My life was poor before but now its worthless. I spend most of my life in a car being shipped about. My dad's only interested in me when it suits him, my mom only when there's chores to do. Rest of the time she's on her laptop or chatting with men. My two sisters are horrible and my house is always a mess and it's cold cos my mom never has the heating on.

The thing is, I spend a lot of time with my best friend's family. I have known them since I was eight and go round most weekends. My best friend's dad takes me places with my best friend and takes a real interest in me. Since my folks split up he's really been there for me - he's the only adult apart from my mom I've ever cried in front of. He's always asks me how I am and how things are going and how things are going at school - my parents never ask me! When he learnt that my folks had split up he gave me a big hug and told me that he loved me. I was shocked but now don't think it's so strange that my best friend's dad has strong feelings for my welfare. He really loves his son/my best friend and they have a brilliant relationship. Sometimes I get jealous cos I don't have the same relationship with my dad or my mom. Their house is always tidy and warm and I love sleeping over. They feed me and give me treats and we watch films together and always have a brilliant time.

The thing is it I have such a good time with this family I hate it when I have to go back to my own. My mom is supposed to pick me up but more often than not forgets and once she was two and a half hours late. She seems to forget I even exist. I lie awake at nights thinking how come my best friend's dad cares about me so much yet my own parents don't. My best friend's dad is always pleased to see me and always makes sure I am okay. I just wish I could be with my best friend's family all the time as I know I would be so much happier and I end up feeling guilty. I don't want money and presents I just want to know my family cares about me as much as my best friend's dad does.
   
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Re: Going nuts - June 14th 2010, 06:49 PM

First of all, I'm really sorry you're going through this with your family.
Second, don't feel guilty. Feelings are feelings. There's nothing right or wrong about them. I have no advice except just to hang in there and don't condemn yourself. Your feelings are totally natural.
   
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Re: Going nuts - June 15th 2010, 01:57 AM

I'm really sorry, you don't need to feel guilt.
Its wasted energy.
Its obeouse that your getting negleated, thats not your fault .
Have you ever tired to confront your mom,dad, or sisters about how your feeling or maybe talk to your bestfriends family on what you should do?

How old are you sisters, casue making in the way their acting horrible is their way of venting?
   
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Re: Going nuts - June 15th 2010, 08:42 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by StabMyHeartLover View Post
I'm really sorry, you don't need to feel guilt.
Its wasted energy.
Its obeouse that your getting negleated, thats not your fault .
Have you ever tired to confront your mom,dad, or sisters about how your feeling or maybe talk to your bestfriends family on what you should do?

How old are you sisters, casue making in the way their acting horrible is their way of venting?
I can't confront my dad cos he's not my real dad (I've never met my real dad) but he's been my dad as long as I can remember but if I confront him I'm scared he'll cut me out completely. He's also got a temper - he's never hit me but he has hit my mom a few times. I like it round my dad's house more as he does the discipline and my sister's don't muck around and his house is warm. Sometimes at my mom's house it's so cold I can't get to sleep.

I ought to confront my mom but it's not my way as I am very quiet a home. I bottle things up and I know it's not good but it's how I deal with things.

My best friend's dad knows how I feel coz I can talk to him but I've made him swear not to tell anyone else and I know he won't.

My sisters are 6 & 10 and they behave bad just to get some attention from my mom but I'm not like that.

Last night me & sisters all had to go to my best friend's house (my best friend's mom is my mom's friend) straight from school as my mom had to get her car sorted. We all had dinner together (us 3, and my best friend and his sister) and it was really nice, my sisters behaved and my best friend's dad was telling us jokes and it was really fun. Why can't it be like that round our house? It is always mayhem and sometimes we have to cook for ourselves as my mom says she is too tired.

My best friend's dad sez once I'm sixteen he'll make sure I'm okay and get a good start in life if I need it but that's over three years away and I don't think I can survive till then.
   
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