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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Unhappy IDK - June 16th 2010, 06:40 PM

IDK what to do about my friends. They constantly do things without me: dress shopping for graduation awards, parties, geometry project, movies, etc., but when I tell them this, they automatically assume I'm overreacting, and that they don't do any of what I'm saying.

It's just it seems like they all prefer each other over me, and like I'm the second choice- like I'm just kinda there for when everyone else isn't. And they all act like I'm their best friend, when, based on their actions, I'm obviously not. I honestly don't know how I'm gonna make it through the summer- 10 weeks of solitude and thinking about how they're all probably hanging out without me, again.

And I don't have any other friends to hang out with, either. I just don't fit in anywhere- not in my school, extra curricular groups, sports, summer camps, nowhere. It just seems like there's no point in anything when I don't have any real friends.

This probably sounds stupid, but I just wish that I could have a best friend like all of my other friends have (it's like they all have their own little cliques inside our groups of friends). Like in the movies- that one friend everyone has that you can tell anything to, and that you always hang out with on the weekends and during the summer and where you basically live at their house. I just wish that for once, I had a true best friend.
   
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Re: IDK - June 16th 2010, 08:58 PM

Hi there Laura.

I'm so sorry that this is going on right now. Summer is a hard time to feel disconnected from friends. I cannot tell you why they are acting like this, because I'm not them.

However, I can give you some ideas on how to work through this. The best one I can come up with is to talk to your friends individually. Maybe try and pick out which friend you think would be themost understanding and talk to her. Tell her that you want to confide in her about something that is really upsetting you. Maybe if you tell her exactly how you feel, and how the situation is effecting you, it may open her eyes.

As for being alone this summer, try to find a hobbie. I recently lost a good portion of my friends and, to fill the void, I started painting. I'm not good, but its something to do. Maybe you could get into something like that. Or even reading. Reading is a great way to retain all the information you learned over the summer, and engross yourself in something. Personally, I love reading because it allows me to jump into someone else's world. I usually read teen drama books. It helps me realize that no ones life is perfect, helps me feel less alone, ya know? If you do want to start reading, I'd recommend anyhting by Sarah Dessen, she is truly amazing.

If you ever need someone to talk to, please PM me. I'd be happy to listen and help the best I can.


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Re: IDK - June 21st 2010, 03:17 AM

I wish for the exact same thing too. You definitely arent alone.
Sometimes, things like that just happen.
Alot of people I know actually just spend their summers not doing anything but watching tv and whatnot.

If you want someone to see you as a positive person - then show them the positive side of you. People attract other people who put off the same vibes as them.
I have been in the exact same situation as you.
What helped me was knowing that it was only temporary and it WILL end.
Life runs in cycles - it has its ups and downs. Right now, you're just in a transition
phase.
Your friends do care about you. Theyre probably just all happy and giddy over whatever- and they want to be around people who are as exactly as happy and giddy as them.
This might be bad advice, but if you arent as upbeat as them right now, then just ACT like it.

Things will work out, I promise. What you are going through is only temporary.
   
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