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Is it me? - June 22nd 2010, 01:08 AM

Hey everyone, i'm new here and was hoping for some feedback.
So, i'll give you a bit of history then fill you in on what's troubling me. When my parents divorced many years ago, I had a really hard time with it and had some severe depression, but never to the point of self-mutilation. I just became very anxious. Now that i'm seventeen, much of that had gone away, although I still have some 'leftovers'.
Recently I've started driving, and my mom has had a rough time. She's always critiquing me on the littlest things, and it obviously gets me upset. The she gets upset that I'm upset, and she never tries to talk with me about it. Plus, I recently missed my first SAT test because I lost my ID, and my mom flipped out. She thinks that I'm never going to grow up on my own or get out of the house. She doesn't seem to understand that I still have repercussions, and whenever I try to talk, she gets angry. It's doesn't help that my sister is just starting to go through puberty.
I have gone to therapy and I am taking meds, I just wish she could understand me better. I've always been a happy person, but I've always felt more comfortable secluded and doing my own thing, and she doesn't seem to understand. Any help or suggestions?
   
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Re: Is it me? - June 22nd 2010, 01:17 AM

She sounds like a mom. I think she's just over worrying about you growing up & making the right choice. Thouhg she is right, accidnets to happen & people loose things.

Have you tried talking to her once everthing has calmed down? That might go awhole lot better instead of when she & you are stressed out/ upset.
   
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Re: Is it me? - June 23rd 2010, 06:54 PM

First of all, you did nothing wrong. She's acting like that because of her own issues.
When shes criticizing you while driving, say something like 'mom i cant drive while you're talking to me - youre distracting me'
be assertive. with things like treating you like crap, set up boundaries. ex: 'its an honest mistake, you could have made it too' 'mom you yelling at me and criticizing me isnt helping to make the situation better'
Learn to detach from her. Dealing with her own anger issues and how she lashes out at you is not your responsibility. does that make sense? dont feel the need to follow what she says exactly.
because i guarantee, no matter what you do, she will always have something negative to say
   
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