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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Question Let it be or Keep trying? *long thread sorry* - June 23rd 2010, 04:53 PM

So currently I have this friend I'll call her "J". & I have this ex friend lets call her "A" . The three of us use to be close as hell. Epsly A & me like sisters.

Well A & are no longer friends. Long story short, I coudn't stand her lying & using me plus she chose a petfile over me. Accused me of calling the cops on him when I didn't. Then she woudn't leave me alone & started casuing all this drama. For the longest time "J" was more son on my side. Just with everthing A did to hurt on friend group.

Well now J is starting to friends with A again & it bothers me. A will use anybody she can. I'm still really hurt by everthing A did to me & J. I loved her. ( As a sister) I'm just not really sure what to do. I don't want to see J get hurt by her. Or have A's petafile boyfriend over & somthing goes wrong

Should I keep trying to protect J or just move on? I know she must live her own life & make her own choices I just don't want to see her get hurt

p.s. Sorry about my spelling or if this was hard to read. Any advice really helpful ^_^
   
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Re: Let it be or Keep trying? *long thread sorry* - June 23rd 2010, 06:22 PM

Hey Casey,
I can see why you're in a difficult position. You need to do what you feel is best for you. If both J & A want to be friends then that is up to them but what you do is down to you.
If you don't feel like you and A can be friends and she is just going to cause trouble for you then don't be her friend.
I know it's difficult to let go of someone sometimes but on certain occassions it's what we need to do for ourselves and our own sanity.
I hope things work out,
Paige
   
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Re: Let it be or Keep trying? *long thread sorry* - June 23rd 2010, 06:40 PM

I think you misunterstood.
I know A & I can never be friends again.
Small talk at the most.
Just worried about J.
   
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Re: Let it be or Keep trying? *long thread sorry* - June 24th 2010, 08:26 AM

I think you should do everything you can to try and protect J from being hurt... But if she still wants to be friends with A, then the best thing you can do is be there to support her if A does indeed hurt her..


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Re: Let it be or Keep trying? *long thread sorry* - June 24th 2010, 07:58 PM

It's difficult to know what to do in a situation like this. =( I understand that you need to protect yourself, so I'm not going to suggest you hang out with A or her pedophile boyfriend for J's sake. The way I see it, though, you'd be in the wrong to stop being friends with J, simply because she's chosen to forgive A. If A and her pedophile boyfriend are really as bad as you say they are, then J will probably realize she's made a mistake sooner or later... and when that happens, she's going to need a good friend to turn to.

As for trying to "protect" J... I'm afraid there's nothing you can really do. She's made her decision, and it's not like you can forcibly keep her away from A and her pedophile boyfriend. You could keep talking to J about how dangerous and manipulative they are... but that probably will just push J away from you. You could tell J's parents that she's hanging out with a pedophile... which could ensure J's safety, but also jeopardize your friendship in the process. Again, it's hard to find the right balance in a situation like this. You want to protect J, but you can't push her away, either. She needs you, both now and when things go wrong with A in the future.







Last edited by PSY; June 24th 2010 at 08:04 PM.
   
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