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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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brad71157 Offline
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I need help with family... - June 23rd 2010, 10:46 PM

Well to start off im a 17 year old boy that lives day to day. What i do everyday is just sit on my computer and play video games and watch movies or whatever. I never hurt anyone and I dont even bother anyone else in the house everyday. So every week my mom gets child support from my dad, around $50 or $60. So I go to the store with her every time the child support is put onto the card and help her with the groceries and stuff. Then we always come back and continue my routine for everyday.

Yea that sounds like an awesome life, dont it! Well here is where everything is screwed up. The food that my mom gets with MY child support is actually not eaten by me most of the time. In fact I would guess that I actually only eat around 10% of the food that she buys with my child support money. Now I know that thats not a huge deal but consider the fact that the other 90% is eaten by my fat fuck brothers who are 25 and 28 years old! Yea thats right they are still living at my moms house and don't have jobs and stay in the house all day and invite their friends over and eat all of the damn food! But theres more! Not only do they not have jobs but they also do drugs! Numerous times have I seen needles around the house and plenty of other drugs that I knew where drugs.

But also my mom doesn't spend all of that $60 on food but cigarettes! She buys cigarettes for herself but also for my brothers since they don't have their own money to spend on cigarettes since they spend every dime they get somehow on drugs! And there's always a day or two a week that I am left hungry in my house while they go out a get high and have the times of their lives, and you know what my mom does about it? Nothing!

My dad also lives here at my house due to financial problems. He lives in the same bedroom as me. Whenever I ask him for some money for some food he always gets pissed because he gives my mom even MORE money for stuff that we dont need like drugs and cigarettes! Now i know im not the most perfect child but I think I deserve to have some food to eat everyday in this house and not have to be hungry every couple days a week. I even have to sell some of my stuff that I bought myself to get myself some food. I tell my dad that I hate living like this but he just keeps telling me to hang on until im 18 which is another 8 months.

This has been going on for more than a year too. Its been going on for about 3 years now and now am I getting very enraged by the non existing effort that my parents do to get this situation fixed. Many times have I complained about this but they don't really seem to care. Many times have I though about solving this problem myself by getting rid of them permanently but I try to restrain myself from doing it.

Now I want so bad to get out of this damn house but how can I prove that my mom is spending the child support on things other than the essentials for living? How am I going to prove that the money she gets every week from child support goes to other things? If you guys can help me and how to deal with this situation it would be really nice and I would appreciate it a lot.

Theres actually a little bit more to the story but its not really important.
   
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Re: I need help with family... - June 23rd 2010, 11:37 PM

Well you can tell your dad to watch her more closly.
Tell your dad what she is doing. Tell him about all the drugs your brothers are doing.

If it's affecting you that much, simply call the poilce.
Try talking to your mom about it.
When she buys food, can you try hiding it in your room, like get it right away.

What about taking to a school counlser or going to a friends house & seeing if their parents can do anything?

Is their a chance your dad can just give you the money?
   
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Re: I need help with family... - June 24th 2010, 01:50 AM

My dad already knows about all the drugs that they do and stuff but refuses to act on them about it because hes not the owner of the house and cant really do anything about it.

I dont think he would agree to anything like that but ill try and ask him.
   
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Re: I need help with family... - June 24th 2010, 11:07 PM

I also agree with the idea of stashing food in your room. It's somewhat deceitful, but it's not fair for you to go hungry one day per week. =( You've got to do what's necessary to ensure your physical (and mental) health.

When my parents divorced, my mom had to prove she was spending all the child support on me (or at least on the rent and other necessities) by showing the court receipts. If your father was willing to give you the number of his attorney/lawyer, you may be able to discuss a similar approach; however, due to your father's financial situation, it seems like he doesn't want to get involved.

I hate to say it, but your only real option may be to hang in there until you can legally move out of the house, get a job, and live your own life, free of your mother's and brothers' horrible behavior.





   
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Re: I need help with family... - June 25th 2010, 01:51 AM

Don't keep complaining. Just take some of the situation into your own hands. Try and find some work so that you can begin being independent. So that you don't be like your brothers. Break your routine and do something different, something good, so that you don't have to stay worried. I know its not easy as I say this, but at least try cause, the reward is worth the effort.


I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.

Last edited by Jacksonian; June 25th 2010 at 01:52 AM. Reason: addition
   
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