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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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katiekat Offline
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Unhappy Divorce help... - July 14th 2010, 02:10 AM

I don't know if this is the right place to put this, and i need to let this out.

My parents told me they were getting divorced. I sorta saw it coming, but it still is pretty devastating. Nobody I know has had a divorce, and I don't know how much this will affect my life. We just moved as well, and I don't know really how things are going to turn out. I just need somebody who has experience with this stuff to tell me what it's like.
   
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Re: Divorce help... - July 14th 2010, 03:15 AM

Hey! Although under some pretty bad cirumstances, I'm glad that you've decided to come and join TeenHelp!

Divorce is really hard, and it especially takes a big toll on us kids. There no way to get rid of the pain or anything like that, I think the best thing for you right now is to get a better understanding of what is happening and why it's happening. Maybe you could try to sit down with your parents and have them explain what's going on to you. They might now because I'm sure they don't want you carrying around all that pressure, and I'm sure that they don't want to hurt you.

I think that's the best thing to do though. I'm sorry that this is happening to you. Divorce is terrible, and it brings all kinds of pain. Make sure that once one of them leaves that you'll be able to see both parents equally. It's really up to you and them who you live with.

I wish the best of luck for your family and who knows, maybe things will soften up and they'll have a change of heart. Maybe it's just the stress from the move.

I'm sorry though.
Feel free to send me a private message if you ever need help or anyone to talk to.

-Kaylaaa.


When you can't find your way home,
and when life gets too hard to face on your own.
I will stand as a light through the darkness unknown,
I will walk with you, so you're never alone.
   
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Re: Divorce help... - July 14th 2010, 06:16 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by savealife723 View Post
Hey! Although under some pretty bad cirumstances, I'm glad that you've decided to come and join TeenHelp!

Divorce is really hard, and it especially takes a big toll on us kids. There no way to get rid of the pain or anything like that, I think the best thing for you right now is to get a better understanding of what is happening and why it's happening. Maybe you could try to sit down with your parents and have them explain what's going on to you. They might now because I'm sure they don't want you carrying around all that pressure, and I'm sure that they don't want to hurt you.

I think that's the best thing to do though. I'm sorry that this is happening to you. Divorce is terrible, and it brings all kinds of pain. Make sure that once one of them leaves that you'll be able to see both parents equally. It's really up to you and them who you live with.

I wish the best of luck for your family and who knows, maybe things will soften up and they'll have a change of heart. Maybe it's just the stress from the move.

I'm sorry though.
Feel free to send me a private message if you ever need help or anyone to talk to.

-Kaylaaa.
I agree with Kayla 100%.
Trust me, listen to her advice.

The only thing I could add more focus onto is make sure that you see both of them equally. My older half brother only visted us maybe 10 weeks a year, and the fact of not having a strong male role model to shape him into a man serverly impacted him maturity aswel as altering major disitions in his life.

I don't care if your family is religious or not show them, or get them this book/movie/program called "fire proof". It has helped several families I know stay together.

If you need someone to talk to just PM me.
   
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Re: Divorce help... - July 23rd 2010, 02:34 PM

I think the best thing to do on your part is just make sure your parents know that you love and respect both of them. Therefore you won't be taking sides in the matter. Let them know you are very willing to discuss things with them, but they can't use you to discuss matters for them instead of interacting with each other.
   
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niente_ Offline
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Re: Divorce help... - July 23rd 2010, 09:47 PM

The experience of divorce depends on the couple. Like I've heard horrible stories about arguing and shouting. But my parents were never like that, to the point where I was totally shocked when mum said they were getting divorced. I never noticed anything wrong. They did everything in secret. Though this was a bad thing for me.

I eventually found out what really happened, through snooping through emails and things. The worst time was when I went in to my mum's room and saw suitcases full of my dads things just laying there, and when I got back from Karate class later on he was gone. Ask them to share everything with you and not keep it secret - you're 13 (it says you are anyway) and you have a right to know. I was 13 too. They will try and do what's best for you but sometimes that doesn't necessarily mean it's best to keep everything from you.

Nowadays, dad has a girlfriend and mum has a boyfriend but they're all civil to each other. We even go out for meals together when I'm home from uni, or for special occasions like birthdays. My mum and my dad's girlfriend get along better than most people I know. Quite a few people find this odd, and yeah I suppose it is, but it's nice. There's no awkwardness at all. I'm closer to both my mum and my dad than I was when they were together.

So I suppose for me, them getting divorced was best for all of us. Mum and dad are both happier, and I have a better relationship with both of them. Divorce isn't always a terrible thing.

You're parents love you and that's what matters. They'll try and make it all work out for you.




Sometimes it's better to forget how you feel
and remember what you deserve


S. M ... still in my heart, forever
   
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