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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Name: Amanda
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Not-So-Close Family - July 14th 2010, 03:47 PM

So Today I was contacted by my Aunt who I never hear from at all, only if they need something or whatever. She is my dad's sister, and yeah as I have said they never phone us. His family never phones on our birthdays, never phones at christmas time and the last time I saw my auntie was almost 6 years ago. It's sad to think that most of my life, they have never been there and now I am not sure if I want anything to do with them at all...

My mom tells me I need to forgive them and love them because they are family. But how can you love someone who obviously doesn't care about you? I mean they care about me, but not my siblings or my parents and that pisses me off.

So that is a bit of my background.

I am 18 almost 19, and now all of a sudden they want me to come up and visit. My aunt wants me to come up for my grandma's (my dad's real mom) birthday, my cousin (biggest sweetheart ever... she atleast has tried to stay in contact with us) birthday and my uncle (who is dying) birthday. Now I am torn because my grandma never once has ever done anything in my life that I would ever be thankful for. She doesn't care at all about anyone in my family, so I don't really want to.. the only reason I would go up would be because of my cousin and my dying uncle because my parents will be going up in october and because I am in school, I wont be able to go....

So my question is, what should I do? I need some advice because I am unsure myself and talking to my mom will be hard...
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Re: Not-So-Close Family - July 14th 2010, 09:50 PM

How long would you be visiting them for? What would it cost (time- and money-wise) to see your extended family? I can definitely relate to what you're saying... I hardly ever see or talk to my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, so I don't feel particularly attached to them; however, if my parents are willing to pay for traveling costs, I'm usually up for visiting them. In the end, it's up to you. Perhaps some of your family members have changed in recent years, and your cousin won't be the only person you'll get along with. If they haven't changed, then I suppose you could always hop on a bus and go sight-seeing... turn the trip into a mini-vacation!





   
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Re: Not-So-Close Family - July 14th 2010, 10:13 PM

It would be a visit for a couple of days. I would have to take about a week off from work because my Aunt is willing to drive up and pick me up and drive me back, which I mean I appreciate. I would probably have to pay for it all and try to fit it in with moving. I don't know if any of them have changed. I mean my aunt could have, but I don't think my grandmother has because she honest to go says she doesn't love my father... so yeah I don't know...

I am concidering it and I talked to my mom about it. But I mean no one came up for my graduation and they didn't even phone me so yeah I don't know =/ I guess it's just a grudge or something
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