Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!

Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

Closed Thread
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
thebigmole Offline
I've been here a while
thebigmole's Avatar
Name: Taylor
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Location: Orlando, Fl

Posts: 1,668
Join Date: January 31st 2009

I can't stand my brother - July 15th 2010, 05:41 AM

I know it's not right, and I wish it wasn't this way, but I can not stand it when my brother is around. He's 13 I'm 21 so the age gap I'm sure doesn't help the problem. I've always had issues when it comes to the double standards of raising him, he's basically been allowed to do and get everything I had to wait much longer to do or get. I saw my first PG 13 movie at 12, he was 8. I wasn't allowed to go out with friends, no adults, until 16, he gets to do that now. I didn't get a 9 o clock bed time until I was 10, he's been staying up later than that since he was 9. And I swear if I hear my dad say it's different for boys one more time I'm going to scream. Why is it so much more important for him to have friends, when I was made fun of and alienated for what I wasn't allowed to do?

So that's what started it, but this past year it's gotten worse. He's turned into a rude selfish smart mouth little brat, which you can excuse only so much from hormones. He has no respect for me whatsoever, and sometimes I seriously just want to slap him, I don't of course. The other reason isn't his fault. I'm off at college and he get's to spend all this time alone with my parents, time I haven't gotten in 13 years. And then I come home and my mom barely ever wants to be alone with me. She'll make plans with me to go out and then when it's time she'll be tired or just complain about it the whole time. If I sit next to her on the sofa, I apparently sit too close and need to move over. However my brother can practically sit on top of her, and he's almost my height so don't say it's a size thing. When it's just me and my parents I'm so happy, but then nearly every word that comes out of my brother's mouth annoys the hell out of me. He's negative most of the time, rude the rest. Anytime I ask him to do something it's "What does it matter?" "Why?" "That's so stupid." Anything I ask him to do that's his response, and I want to just scream at him sooooo much!!

Anyway I don't know how I can possibly change this. My only hope is that he will get through puberty fast and maybe become a respectful person again.

"For Ignorance killed the cat, Curiosity was framed." -Caitlin McGrath

"For this thing we call failure is not the falling down, but the staying down." -Mary Pickford

"But the music's so happy!" -Little Sally: Urinetown

"If our own policies aren't supporting equality then what are we fighting for?"- Kathy Griffin
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
willowjay Offline
Welcome me, I'm new!
willowjay's Avatar
Age: 26
Gender: Female

Posts: 2
Join Date: July 15th 2010

Re: I can't stand my brother - July 15th 2010, 05:47 AM

i don't think i can offer advice, but i can offer empathy.
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
PSY Offline
Hugh Jackman ♥

TeenHelp Veteran
PSY's Avatar
Name: Robin
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Location: Southern California

Posts: 10,021
Blog Entries: 35
Join Date: June 12th 2009

Re: I can't stand my brother - July 15th 2010, 08:20 AM

I also sympathize. I've had the luck of being an only child... but I can imagine how frustrating it must be to deal with a 13-year-old brother!

Parents tend to be harsher on their oldest child. It doesn't matter if you're a boy or a girl. When they first start off as parents, they tend to make rigid rules. As they gain more experience as parents, they may loosen up a bit, and indulge the "baby" of the family. While I can understand how infuriating it must be for you to see how much freedom your brother has, compared to what you had when you were his age, please try to keep in mind that this isn't unusual for many families.

Yes, your brother is dealing with hormones at the moment... but I think, secretly, he may be jealous of you. You wish that you could spend more time with your parents... but truth be told, I think he wishes that he could be an "adult" like you. He may be able to stay up later, and hang out with friends without an adult present... but at the end of the day, YOU have more freedom than he does. YOU could stay up all night if you wanted to, and party with your friends until the sun rises! Ironically enough, HE may think that YOU are trying to take away the few things he has... which, in this case, would be your parents. In his mind, since you're an adult, YOU already have everything, and he has next to nothing at 13-years-old.

I'm not saying that you need to sympathize with your brother. If he were my brother, I probably would have bitten his head off by now. =P But I am trying to demonstrate that the deck isn't always stacked against you. You both have something that the other person wants.

Closed Thread


brother, stand

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.