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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Ashiee Offline
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Blamed - July 18th 2010, 11:35 PM

My dad and I had a really big falling out recently. It was fathers day weekend and I went out to eat with my mom, her boyfriend, and his two kids for his fathers day gift and I told them to take me home afterwards so I could be with my dad on fathers day. Well when they dropped me off the door was locked and I didn't have my keys because I didn't take my car with us. So I went to my moms and emailed him and told him that I came home but couldn't get in. I didn't see him on fathers day because he went to Ohio and I had to work. So he started emailing me flipping out on me and saying that everything is my fault and that I just don't want to be there with his family which isn't true, well this went on for awhile and I figured it was just him mad so I let it go but no thats not what he wanted and he had his wife call me and tell me to come talk to him so I did and nothing was said so I left and went to the grad party I was planning on going too. So to stir everything up again he seen one of my friends that I stormed out and left. But what I don't understand is how I could storm out when I couldn't even get into the house in the first place. Well today he texted me from my stepmothers phone and asked why I wasn't coming over and if I was going to pay him for wheels that I didn't ask him to get.
So should I pay for them? Should I be blamed for this when I was the one who let it go?
Please let me know what you think... I just really needed to get this off my chest because I don't feel that I should be the only one at fault.


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Katrina Offline
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Re: Blamed - July 19th 2010, 04:28 PM

Hey Ashley!

I regret to hear about your falling out with your dad. That's not much fun. You know, I can really see this situation from both sides. Often times Father's Day and Mother's Day are two of the hardest days of the year for step-families because of the predicament it puts the kids in about how to equally spend time with all parties. I can understand (slightly) that your dad might've been upset that you didn't call him when you couldn't get in the house and maybe asked him to come home and hang out with you, but I can also see your frustration about his irritation. Totally makes sense to me.

Look, I don't think you should have to pay him for something you didn't ask him to buy. That would be like me buying my sister a new pair of jeans, giving them to her, but then asking her to pay me for them - that's not how gifts work!

If I were you, I would try to talk to your dad and schedule a time for you guys to spend some time with each other. Clearly you don't want to strain the relationship any more than it's already been strained, and you also don't want to let this fade into a period of time where you guys just don't talk at all - mend this relationship before it falls apart!

Good luck with everything.



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Jacksonian Offline
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Re: Blamed - July 22nd 2010, 07:11 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by AppleTini View Post
Hey Ashley!

I regret to hear about your falling out with your dad. That's not much fun. You know, I can really see this situation from both sides. Often times Father's Day and Mother's Day are two of the hardest days of the year for step-families because of the predicament it puts the kids in about how to equally spend time with all parties. I can understand (slightly) that your dad might've been upset that you didn't call him when you couldn't get in the house and maybe asked him to come home and hang out with you, but I can also see your frustration about his irritation. Totally makes sense to me.

Look, I don't think you should have to pay him for something you didn't ask him to buy. That would be like me buying my sister a new pair of jeans, giving them to her, but then asking her to pay me for them - that's not how gifts work!

If I were you, I would try to talk to your dad and schedule a time for you guys to spend some time with each other. Clearly you don't want to strain the relationship any more than it's already been strained, and you also don't want to let this fade into a period of time where you guys just don't talk at all - mend this relationship before it falls apart!

Good luck with everything.
Props. That was well said.

In addition to that is this ;
You have to be sensitive as you talk to him cause it appears to be emotional anger, which means it hurts in the deep core of his heart and his love for you. So just be careful as you talk to him and remember that its because he is hurt bad that he is behaving this way.


I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.
   
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Beautiful_mind Offline
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Re: Blamed - July 22nd 2010, 10:03 AM

I dont know my dad but i have never gotten along with my step dad we always fight. I think how he reacted to the situation is a bit wrong however maybe he was jelous that you spent time with your mums boyfriend... it could be that your dad feels you dont need him anymore it can always be hard when parents that are no longer together start seeing other people.

I think that maybe you should tell him that you love him and that this fight is silly and that you to should start over. maybe take him out to dinner one night and show him how much you do love him . if you didnt ask him to buy you those wheels then say thanks for the wheels i do appricate but you never ask for them so in a way i personally would consider it a gift since you never asked for it.

if he contiues to make you feel this way then say to him dad i love you but right now i dont think this situation i think we should both cool down and talk in a week or so when things calm down.

try something like that and see how it goes good luck.
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