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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Twinge Offline
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Unhappy my wonderful family...NOT! - July 19th 2010, 08:42 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

i'll try making this short as i can,cause i really need help,i might explode already.

i live in a very problematic family,that includes my mom,grandma and myself,the 3 generations. it is very crappy cause all i hear is just fights that i try ignoring. even while i am writing this,i am hearing yelling from the kitchen. i wish i could do anything to fix the situation.
so,the oldest member of the family,is always acting like she is sick,going to die,hard breathing,just when my mom is around. i consider this sucking up. i try helping and yell cause she won't even listen me,but i get hit by my mom. :/ grandma just bosses me around,its just terrorism. i always run in my backyard,i avoid every contact with her. its not fair. shes not even that old,her asthma is not too dangerous,she gets everything what she wants and shes still mean...

my grandma is just torturing me and my mom,i hear crying every day and yelling.its been effecting me,mostly,cause i'm still building up my character. now,its not going well at all. i just wish i could disappear from the face of the earth. too bad i can't run away.

i think i had enough of my mom telling me shes gonna die of heart attack like my grandad did. she assumes its cause of the stupid situation.

guys,i just ugh...i just scratch to get over this temporary. its eating me out. i'm just mad and nervous and stressed. this is destroying me. this is why i have low self esteem and no life,this is why i have all my issues i already did. it was different before us three were alone as a family....
what can i do??

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Re: my wonderful family...NOT! - July 20th 2010, 02:37 AM


It appears that your family is experiencing miscommunication (something that happens to ALL families) on a very big scale. I think that what you people have to do is to have a heart-to-heart talk about why everyone feels about things and issues the way they do. I see that as the way to handle and counter this situation i know its tough, but i know you can get through this. I KNOW you can.

You also have to try to coax everyone else into talking about stuff calmly.. screaming around isnt gonna get this issue anywhere i know that it is hard, but you can do this.

Caring always.

Those who have went through more pain than everyone else, and want to protect anyone and everyone they know and care for from that pain, are stronger than everyone.

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Re: my wonderful family...NOT! - July 20th 2010, 02:44 AM

I'm sorry to hear about your difficult situation. =( It really does seem like everyone in your family is "out for themselves". You are all going through a very stressful time... but instead of relying on each other, you're fighting. Perhaps your grandmother and mother simply can't see things in the same way you do. Have you tried talking to them? I know that's difficult to do when you're angry about the way they've been treating you, and they may not want to listen to a 15-year-old... but it's worth a shot, right?

When you're feeling calm, and when everyone else is calm, why not ask them if you could all sit down together as a family and discuss what's going on? If they're not willing to listen, then maybe you could talk to your mom in private. Use "I" statements (ex. "I feel caught in the middle" and "I am so stressed out") vs. "you" statements (ex. "You make my life miserable" and "You're always picking fights"). By acknowledging how miserable you are, and demonstrating that you're willing to do whatever it takes to make the situation better, your family members may be willing to admit THEY'VE been miserable as well, and will also want to fix their problems.

I don't know what mental health services are like in Serbia, but you may want to look into family therapy. It could be with a psychological professional, or it could be with a spiritual leader. You could even ask a close adult friend to act as a mediator while your grandmother and mother try to work out their differences.

I wish you all the best. <3

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