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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Need Advice with my Bff - July 19th 2010, 11:18 PM

So my bff and I had really a big fight near the end of school. In fact we didn't speak for about two weeks. I then finally folded and apologized. The fight was upon the fact he never hangs out with me. I recently most of my friends he was the only one really at my school.
I got pissed because he never ate lunch with me, never hung out with me during school meaning during assemblies, and hardly came over on weekends. So I got pissed and went after how he hangs out with this dumb fuck crowd of losers all the time every day and hung out with me once every few weekends. He replied that we hung out a lot and he doesn't seem the people he's with often.

Bullshit? He sees them every fucking school day and I don't seem him at all.
So whatever we made up.
Now it's summer and I don't really have any of my old friends just him. Its summer. He has swim practice in the morning then is free the entire day. 11:00 AM to whenever he goes to bed. Still he always says "no sorry it won't work"
"no i cant do it".
If I call to talk to him he ignores me; or when he answers in the middle of what I say he'll go "mmhmm, yeah, yep, yep, uh huh." so ive started simply hanging up on him.

What do I do? He's being such a pain in the ass he didn't see any of what I said and doesn't even make an attempt at being more social with me. I've known him since Pre-K, I'm a junior now.


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Re: Need Advice with my Bff - July 20th 2010, 02:50 AM

Unfortunately, people change. Maybe the two of you just don't have as much in common anymore, so your friend doesn't feel like hanging out (but doesn't have the courage to say so outright). I think, in this particular case, you need to judge your friend by his actions rather than by his words. His actions have demonstrated that he's not willing to put in the same amount of time and effort into your friendship as you are... so why should you keep doing all the work? Why should you have to chase him, beg for his attention, and feel this way when he says "no" every single day?

Frankly, I think it's time to take advantage of the summer months and find some new friends. =) It's not going to be easy to let go of an old friend... but it really doesn't seem like it's worth keeping him around, given that he's doing more harm than good. If he realizes how badly he's treated you, he'll call you... but you shouldn't have to keep calling him.






   
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Re: Need Advice with my Bff - July 20th 2010, 06:43 PM

i totally agree with Robin on this one. this bff really really isn't your bff anymore. i've been in a similar situation. like month not talking,then he found some other friend and didn't want to talk to me anymore. maybe i shouldn't tell the story but i had conclusions after.

i was torturing him with too much messages that he always ignored.
but yeah,it really hurts cause you spent so much time with him since preschool. did you try talking to him about you feel? telling him how much his ignoring hurts and annoys? (well,no,i can't find better words)

or as the post above said,just give it some time. maybe he will call,maybe he won't. life goes on. people come,love,hen change and go. its the human relationship circle. something can change back,but something stays like it still. i am sure you've been a great friend to him so he maybe looks up and gives you a call. who knows? maybe he's still mad at that fight you two had before school ended. i doubt that a BFF can leave that easy... like all those years were just a waste.


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