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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Exclamation Still No Resolution. - July 24th 2010, 10:50 PM

A few days ago I posted this thread....

Quote:
My bestfriend Beth was raped, told her grandparents about it and they kicked her out at the begining of june. since no one in her family would take her because of the fact that she is involved in an active investigation they let her move back in. for the last 6 weeks she has been having all her stuff thrown out onto the lawn approximetly 2 to 3 times a week. shes been staying with us alot and when my parents found out what was happening they said she was to get all her stuff and move in here the next time she was kicked out.
So the next day July 13th she gets kicked out again, 2 days later me beth and our boyfriends moved her stuff from her house to mine.
I love that shes here, shes been so depressed since she was raped and her grandparents kicking her out hasnt helped her at all. and im an only child and i have always wanted to share my room have a sister all that fun stuff but there is a small problem
My mom is not reacting well, she is basically replacing me, she told me that beth is getting my room and my furniture and when i come back from college in thanksgiving everything i didnt take is going to be in boxes in the storage room and when beth moves out she can take all my furniture and such with her.
I am not allowed to explain the rules to her because its not my place and my parents want to. but when she does something like invite her boyfriend over and has him in our room with the door shut which is a major no, i get yelled at because she broke the rules and nothing gets said to her.
Me and my mom havent been getting along for months and the fighting is making me really depressed ive been getting more and more depressed over the last few months and since beth moved in the fighting between me and my mom has gotten worse and ive gotten to the point of i dont want to leave my bed let alone my room because i dont want to fight. Once my mom starts yelling i get angry which makes the fight worse and i get more depressed and ball my eyes out after.
Everyone in the house is happier moms happy dads happy beths happpy, the only one whos not is me. and me and moms relationship is getting worse, Ive talked to my dad about it and the only thing me and him came up with is me going on antidepressents. I want my family life to be good before I leave for school, right now the only thing i can think of that would make it better would be removing myself from the family picture in general and im not ready to do that.
How should i go about making my family situation and the fact that my friend now lives her permanently, better?
im seriousloy sick of fighting, and crying.
Since then, my parents have not stopped fighting.
Beth lied to my mom about where she was one night
and then came home an hour late the next night.
they keep fighting about how to deal with her
but everytime they talk to her she tells her boyfriend
and then her boyfriend yells at me about the fact that
my parents are "acting like her legal guardians"
and theyre "controlling her life which is why she left to begin with"

My friends are getting concerned about me because my parents fighting and all the drama is stressing me out to the max, and they know i used to hurt myself and i have gone 2.5 years without (yay me) so they are afraid that with all of the fighting and beth drama that I will start to again, which i dont intend on doing, but its to the point of they are texting me a few times a day just to make sure im ok which i dont mind.
but I have started having to turn my phone off when i leave the house because all i want is to be away from the stress and the drama. im so sick of the fighting and the complaining.

Im still trying to figure out a way to make life at home a little more enjoyable.
but my parents are always fighting
beth is always complaining when shes home about my parents
and im so stressed out over all of this because Im hearing every side of every event that happens here and ive become the emotional unloading dock for everyone.

Any Ideas on how to fix this?
   
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Re: Still No Resolution. - July 24th 2010, 11:54 PM

Go for the source. Talk with your parents and tell them how this manner of talking about it is not solving anything but instead breaking up everyone. So you guys need to come up with a compromise. So go and talk with your parents first calmly, only the 3 of you and then later you include beth and all of you talk together and decide what to do and how to live in peace.


I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.
   
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Re: Still No Resolution. - July 25th 2010, 04:25 AM

I did talk to them. they said i didnt have a place to talk. and now totally unrelated my mom is talking about seperating from my dad and moving to texas for work after i leave to go to school in wisconsin
   
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Re: Still No Resolution. - July 26th 2010, 07:21 PM

So it sounds like there's more going on here than your parents are letting on. Beth is just the icing on top of the cake... they may be dealing with marital problems, too. As much as this sucks, I would wait it out. Keep up the sleeping schedule, so that you can avoid conflict as much as possible. Spend time with your other friends... they seem to be quite supportive of you. <3 Hang in there until college starts. Finally, you're welcomed to PM me if you ever want to talk. I read your first thread a while back, and I'm sorry to hear that your situation hasn't improved. =(





   
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Re: Still No Resolution. - July 29th 2010, 06:21 PM

they announced last night that they are getting divorced and my mom is moving to a different state. so the 3 of us will all be living in seperate states by 2011. yay.
   
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Re: Still No Resolution. - July 30th 2010, 12:22 AM

That's rough. Sorry about that.


I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.
   
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