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Darrenboy! Offline
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being annoying. - August 5th 2010, 12:13 PM

I didnt really know where else to write this.. but then i guess this is the best place to put it (as it concerns friends)

Well.. when i was young.. i had somewhat of a sheltered childhood. (parents were being overprotective) as a result.. i am not that good at interacting with people. and so.. when i hang out with people.. some of them find me annoying. i know it doesnt sound that much of a problem, but it is a problem to me. and it's kinda hurt me a little because i found out how some of them think of me.

It isnt something i can control.. i want to get to know people, and i love to mix around . But sometimes i get over enthusiastic about it, and probably scare people in the process. I have a deprived childhood and thus maybe part of the reason is because i want to make up for what i lost out on last time.. a more fulfilling childhood which i deserve to experience.

Any suggestions in which i can improve? help would be very much appreciated.


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Last edited by Darrenboy!; August 6th 2010 at 04:56 AM.
   
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Re: being annoying. - August 5th 2010, 10:42 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by darrenboy! View Post
i want to get to know people, and i love to mix around . But sometimes i get over enthusiastic about it, and probably scare people in the process.

Any suggestions in which i can improve?
Well, the good news is that you already know what the problem is: you become overly enthusiastic at times, and tend to scare people off when you do so. I would suggest making a list of "overly enthusiastic" things that you specifically do (ex. running up to people and hugging them, greeting them the moment they log onto Facebook/AIM/MSN, texting them "x" number of times every day).

Then, to the left and right of that list, make two more lists: the things that happen before, and the things that happen after. I don't know if you're familiar with psychology, but we call it the ABCs: antecedent, behavior, consequence. The antecedent is just what happens before the behavior (or whatever it is you do that is "overly enthusiastic"). The consequence, as you've probably guessed, is what your friends do when they're scared off.

So you're going to have three lists: things that cause your behaviors, the behaviors themselves, and things that your friends do afterward. Hopefully, this will give you a better idea on how to improve your situation. For example, if you find that many of the antecedents are similar or the same, you can anticipate your response, and stop yourself before you become "overly enthusiastic". That will then stop the consequence from occurring as well. =D If you find that you only do a few things that are "overly enthusiastic", then you can begin to adapt more appropriate ways of acting around your friends.






   
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Re: being annoying. - August 5th 2010, 10:50 PM

Okay, well it's hard to give you advice without knowing how exactly you interact with them. Has anyone told you why they find you annoying? Different things annoy different people, so there's no way to please everyone, but if there is something you could be doing a little differently I'll point it out to you

You did mention your enthusiasm - does it happen to be expressed in high pitched or excited tones, clapping or jumping around a lot, or repeated phrases like saying "oh my god" too many times? (I'm just taking a guess - enthusiasm is something I only express by jumping up and hugging people a lot, which somehow I doubt you do haha). If so, that would be a little annoying, and I have alternate things you can do to tone down your enthusiasm.


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Re: being annoying. - August 7th 2010, 08:06 PM

thanks for the suggestions i took note of them, and will tell you how stuff goes.

Once again seriously, thanks for taking the time to help out. if there are any more suggestions and stuff.. it'll be very welcome.


Those who have went through more pain than everyone else, and want to protect anyone and everyone they know and care for from that pain, are stronger than everyone.

we come, we help, we stick and never leave. pm me anytimeee!

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Last edited by Darrenboy!; August 7th 2010 at 08:14 PM.
   
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