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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
BrokenHeart315 Offline
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Name: Belle
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I Don't Know How To Deal... - August 22nd 2010, 12:01 AM

So if anyone reads any of my previous threads, you'd see all my issues with my ex-boyfriend and the girl he's now screwing on a regular basis. (He never even bothered to break up with me, the person who saw them do it told me.)
I need to figure out how to deal with this girl. It's not just that she helped Kevin cheat on me, I had been friends with her when she first transferred to our school in the middle of the year. She had all guy friends and I was really the first friend she had her own gender. So she thought she could talk about boys and sex all the time and I'd be good with that. I am not the type of person who can do that. But even if I was, I would still get annoyed with her. It was ALL she talked about, even about boys who were gay or clearly with other girls. She even talked about my own boyfriend (another guy at the time) and another one of our friends who was in a steady relationship with girl for a long, long time.
Whenever I would try to talk about something that was not sex, she'd get angry with me and say I was self-centered. A day came when I told her I felt like killing myself, she told me I was a 'drama queen' and I 'needed to stop being such bitch about everything because my life is so much worse than yours.' (Word for word.)
For one thing, she doesn't know anything about my life. She's too busy talking about herself. You know what she's 'been through?' She's filthy rich. her parents shower her with attention. When she got bored of that, she started smoking pot and eventually graduating to doing cocaine and meth, and all things in between. Sleeping with any guy she could on the way. (Also, when I told my ex I had been raped, he told me he was with her because I was too 'dirty.')
This girl has not had any angst worthy problems in her life whatsoever. So I award her no sympathy.
So since she slept with my boyfriend, she has texted me and called me a bitch and ranted about how rude and inappropriate. it was to keep calling and texting him as I was trying to figure out what was going on. Also, I made her angry. Well, God save my soul now. She has cheated on this guy with several people, I know because I've seen her stick her tongue down two different guys' throats this summer and holding hands with a third.
I finally told Mark (my ex whom I'm still good friends with and a friend of hers) that she was cheating on Kevin, and also that she had lied to both of them numerous times (not gonna explain; I know she did.) and he basically said: "What does she see in these guys? She's too good for them."
I don't know how to deal with Mark and everyone else who put her on this golden pedestal...please help, I'm sorry this is so long, but I have no idea what to do. I'm gonna have to deal with her and my ex & other people who worship her all year. Please help.



I don't understand why I hang around,
They see what's going down.

Cover up with makeup in the mirror,
Tell myself It's never gonna happen again.
I cry alone,
And then you swear you love me.

Do you feel like a man,
When you push me around?
Do you feel better now,
As I fall to the ground?
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
beliievexagaiin Offline
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Re: I Don't Know How To Deal... - August 23rd 2010, 03:49 AM

Well, first off, I wanna say this. There's really no way of knowing what's going on in her heart. I mean, there is always a reason why someone would be so destructive. So please, don't judge her okay? You may not see her as a good person, but everyone has their secrets and lies. She does too.

Second, I'm sorry about the situation with your ex. In my opinion, you're to good for them.

Third, everything will work out. I promise. If you ever need someone to rant to, message me or the other Buddies. We'll all be glad to help you in any way we can.


I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healing <3
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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
BrokenHeart315 Offline
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Re: I Don't Know How To Deal... - August 24th 2010, 12:01 AM

I'm sorry but it's really hard not to hate her this much...believe me I've tried. But if sleeping with my boyfriend & yelling at me wasn't enough, she gave out my phone number to a bunch of guys, probably her friends from her old school I think, & told them I was a callgirl or something, so I've had a bunch of guys calling me and texting me and they're not all covered by my texting plan so I had to pay my parents back $127 and I have to get my number changed...and she knows what happened to me too.
I have this girl in both JV show choir and on crew for Varsity, (So we have one of those together at least five nights a week, plus all day on Saturdays during a month for competitions) Possibly in a club together, and my locker is near where she will be hanging out. So I am going to have to be in contact with her and my ex & the other couple in their group (who told my ex that if he didn't date this other girl they wouldn't talk to them) and honestly I just don't know how to deal with them without losing my mind.



I don't understand why I hang around,
They see what's going down.

Cover up with makeup in the mirror,
Tell myself It's never gonna happen again.
I cry alone,
And then you swear you love me.

Do you feel like a man,
When you push me around?
Do you feel better now,
As I fall to the ground?
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
PSY Offline
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Re: I Don't Know How To Deal... - August 26th 2010, 06:21 AM

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. =( You certainly d0 not deserve to be treated this way by your so-called "friend" and the various people she associates with.

All I can really suggest is that you cut ALL of them out of your life. I don't know if this girl is suffering from a mental disorder/trauma of some kind, or if she is just a flat-out brat... but whatever the case is, it's obvious that reasoning with her won't accomplish anything. She's not going to stop hurting you, no matter how kind you are.

Now, when I say you should "cut" them out of your life, I don't necessarily mean giving her the cold shoulder. If you suddenly stop talking to her, and you never make eye contact with her again, even if she's right next to you, that will only cause more drama. Instead, I would recommend you be the "better person" and explain (briefly) why you are no longer interested in continuing your friendship with her. There's no harm in saying "hello" while passing by her locker (refusing to do so will make YOU look bad)... but other than that, I honestly wouldn't bother.

If she continues to harass her, or if her "group" harasses you, please know that you CAN contact the school's administration and security team. Ask your parents to accompany you, so they can talk about what she's done in the past (ex. giving out your phone number and labeling you as a "call girl"). With the school's help, you could go to the police department and file a restraining order against her. If she violates that, she could be suspended, expelled, or possibly even worse.

I wish you all the best. <3





   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
BrokenHeart315 Offline
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Re: I Don't Know How To Deal... - August 26th 2010, 09:46 PM

I'm not even friends with her anymore...I completely stopped involving her & that group in my life months ago. I haven't even spoken to her since March. All she did was yell at me. I had no choice.



I don't understand why I hang around,
They see what's going down.

Cover up with makeup in the mirror,
Tell myself It's never gonna happen again.
I cry alone,
And then you swear you love me.

Do you feel like a man,
When you push me around?
Do you feel better now,
As I fall to the ground?
   
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