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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Make Believe Offline
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She keeps cheating on her boyfriend :| - August 30th 2010, 06:27 PM

This has been annoying me a LOT lately. My friend has been going out with this boy for about four months, he really really cares for her and she always goes on about how much she loves him ____ She has cheated on him four times.

Her and my other friends went to Blackpool for five days three months ago and she had sex with some random guy. She has also kissed and "fooled around" with three other people since then. The worst thing is she doesn't use protection at all :/ The first time she bought condoms was a few days ago. Our other friend actually said to her "about bloody time you did buy some"

Last night she kissed another guy again and give him her number :/ What pisses me off the most is I know if her boyfriend done the same to her she'd probably hit him.

I want to say something to do but I don't know what :| I want to say to her she needs to choose if she wants a relationship or wants to sleep around because she can't do both.

I know it's not really any of my business but I don't like watching this happening >____< A part of me even wants to slip something up in front of her boyfriend :/


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Re: She keeps cheating on her boyfriend :| - August 30th 2010, 07:59 PM

This is really hard...you're stuck with two things you could do, and both have reasons to do them, but also to not do them.
If you just stay out of it, then you don't have to put yourself out there and you could keep your friend. (Although I do wonder what a good friend she it; she's obviously shown that she's incapable of any sort or loyalty or commitment. Truthfully, I think she sounds like a narcissist.) But this guy, who sounds like a really good guy, will only be fooled longer, and it also looks as if your friend might be putting him at risk for STDs.
But if you do tell him, he'll probably be very hurt to find it out from her friend. And your friend will probably be very angry with you. But on the flip side; he can get out of a toxic relationship without feeling like a complete fool for letting it go on longer than it had to, and hopefully with no STDs.
What I would do...I would tell my friend she needs to choose. And she needs to let her boyfriend know what's been going on, regardless of what she chooses. If she refuses, you need to tell him. This guy seems to really care for his girl, and believe me, he is a special guy for that. He deserves to know the truth.
Also, i found out my boyfriend had cheated on me through not only friend of his, but a friend of the other girl. It's terrible to find out that way, and it's just as bad when the person telling you has no compassion for anything you're going through. If push comes to shove and you do have to let him know, just try to be understanding. It's the least any of you can do for this guy.



I don't understand why I hang around,
They see what's going down.

Cover up with makeup in the mirror,
Tell myself It's never gonna happen again.
I cry alone,
And then you swear you love me.

Do you feel like a man,
When you push me around?
Do you feel better now,
As I fall to the ground?
   
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Re: She keeps cheating on her boyfriend :| - August 30th 2010, 08:07 PM

As said above, this is a really hard situation to be in, and to deal with. You need to be careful what you say so that you don't overstep the line. My advice would be to bring it up with her. Tell her that you know she cheats on her boyfriend, a lot. And she does it unprotected. And that if he had done it to her, she wouldn't like it. You need to confront her with this and make sure she understands what she's doing. Tell her if she doesn't sort it out that you'll be forced to do the right thing and tell her boyfriend exactly whats going on. Because it's definitely not right that this is happening and he has no idea.

Your only other option is to sit back and hope she works it out for herself. But that's only if you don't want to stick your nose it. But I would suggest doing so, because she needs to know that what she's doing isn't right.

Good luck on making the best decision, and take care.



   
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Re: She keeps cheating on her boyfriend :| - August 30th 2010, 10:56 PM

Thanks both <3 She's having a BBQ on Sunday before we're all starting college/uni so I think I'm going to bring it up then :/ I think I may say something like "How are you and Dan getting along?" and if she says "fine" which she probably will I will ask if he knows and if not I think it's a better idea to stop.

I've also talked about this to my best friend and he agrees with me also.

I don't even like Dan an awful lot (no particular reason I just find him cocky) and I seem to care about him more than her


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Re: She keeps cheating on her boyfriend :| - August 30th 2010, 11:28 PM

Your friends a skank, tell the dude.


Even if you don't like the dude, no one should ever be cheated on and there is never an OKAY time to do it, even if the relationship is dying, as long as your "not single" you don't touch someone else, and if you do, your a whore.
   
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Re: She keeps cheating on her boyfriend :| - August 30th 2010, 11:49 PM

I've been in a similar situation before. One of my best friends was going out with a complete slut who just slept around all the time. He knew, and I tried to get his head on straight, but he never listened. So me trying to intervene just created a hell of a lot more stress than I needed. I ended up just letting him do his own thing, telling him I wasn't going to pick up the pieces anymore if he kept going back to her. He eventually figured shit out and dropped her, but I had to just accept the fact that there was no way I could get him to do it.
   
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Re: She keeps cheating on her boyfriend :| - August 31st 2010, 12:16 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Myss View Post
I've been in a similar situation before. One of my best friends was going out with a complete slut who just slept around all the time. He knew, and I tried to get his head on straight, but he never listened. So me trying to intervene just created a hell of a lot more stress than I needed. I ended up just letting him do his own thing, telling him I wasn't going to pick up the pieces anymore if he kept going back to her. He eventually figured shit out and dropped her, but I had to just accept the fact that there was no way I could get him to do it.
Take this Advice OP, she knows what she's talking about
   
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Re: She keeps cheating on her boyfriend :| - August 31st 2010, 04:15 PM

The only thing you can do is either tell the guy or leave it. I know its hard to think that your friend is doing this, and knowing its wrong. Im not sure whether it would cause loosing a friend or not if you did tell him.
   
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Re: She keeps cheating on her boyfriend :| - August 31st 2010, 06:44 PM

I personally think he should know no matter what. I don't care if he's a complete asshole: he deserves to know what's going on behind his back.



I don't understand why I hang around,
They see what's going down.

Cover up with makeup in the mirror,
Tell myself It's never gonna happen again.
I cry alone,
And then you swear you love me.

Do you feel like a man,
When you push me around?
Do you feel better now,
As I fall to the ground?
   
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Re: She keeps cheating on her boyfriend :| - September 2nd 2010, 02:40 AM

I think he should know what's going on. Either tell him yourself, or ask one of his close friends to tell him. What if your friend gives him a sexually transmitted infection? He doesn't deserve that, no matter how "cocky" he is.






   
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Re: She keeps cheating on her boyfriend :| - September 2nd 2010, 09:31 AM

I would tell the friend that either she tells him about it or you or someone else tells. To check if she tells him, strike up a conversation with him. If he really likes her, he'll already be noticably different. If not, talk to him about her and see what he says. Asking her would be pointless although curteous because she can lie and say she did just so she doesn't have to deal with more chats with her. Just remember, if you or someone else tells him, then be sure to have some proof, such as other witnesses or even a guy who she was kissing/having sex with.


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Re: She keeps cheating on her boyfriend :| - September 2nd 2010, 10:52 AM

I'd advise you tell him, indirectly through a friend or something, since your friend(no offence) sounds like a contemptible piece of work. Being loyal isn't hard =/.




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