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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Bubbly751 Offline
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Question Overwhelmed and Overstressed idk wat 2 do - September 4th 2010, 04:39 AM

My parents are going through a divorce, i am so mixed up about it. I don't know if i am happy or sad every time i find out something new about it i usually end up crying for an hour in the shower. I can't handle all the added stress, i and so stressed that i just break down and randomly cry and get upset cause I'm so overwhelmed. I don't know what to do, other than talk to my school counselor but I'm too scared. Any suggestions?
   
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Re: Overwhelmed and Overstressed idk wat 2 do - September 4th 2010, 07:00 PM

Hey there.

I'm glad you decided to post and reach out for a little support, but I'm sorry that you're currently dealing with parents going through a divorce. My parents are still married, but I have had several friends who have dealt with their parents divorcing and I know that sometimes, it can be very stressful and not so much fun.

I do want to encourage you to talk to your guidance counselor at school. Most high schools in the United States (at least, and I'm sure in other countries too -- though every country has a different education system) provides fairly good resources as far as counseling goes. If you're scared to talk to them in person, try emailing them at first to set up an appointment. It can be a lot less intimidating to go talk to someone if they're expecting you than if you just randomly show up without an appointment. Another think you might think about doing is taking a friend with you. Do any of your friends know you're going through this? Have any of them dealt with it before? Do you think any of them might be willing to come with you (at least the first time) to talk things out with the guidance counselor? I know it seems intimidating, but I definitely think you should give it a try. I think it could be very worth your time!

There's a few other things I want to encourage you to do as you deal with this. First of all, know that none of this was your fault. Adults have their own (often very complicated) reasons for getting divorced, and most likely, none of it had anything to do with you. Just because your parents aren't together anymore doesn't make them love you any less, and they shouldn't be making you feel that way. Don't feel pressured to "take sides," either - your parents don't expect you to even if you feel as though they sometimes may be acting otherwise.

Also, stay busy! Live YOUR life. Continue to engage in activities at school and do extracurriculars that make you happy. Hang out with your friends just as you always have, and of course, try your best to stay on top of your schoolwork, homework, and studying!

Talk with both of your parents about what kind of arrangements are going to be made that involve you. Keep in touch with BOTH parents and don't let your relationship with either parent dwindle even though you may not be living in the house with one or the other the entire time. Make time to see both parents and hang out with each separately, though, for the future. This can calm you down and keep the peace between them regarding you as you all go through this.

It's definitely okay to cry, so don't feel pressured to keep everything inside, but definitely do look into leaning on other people for support as you go through this - you're not alone.

I hope that everything works out for you. (Side note: I'm going to go ahead and move this to Friends and Family, which is where I think you'll get the most number of and most beneficial replies. If you'd like to talk about that decision, feel free to Private Message me).



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Re: Overwhelmed and Overstressed idk wat 2 do - September 15th 2010, 06:29 AM

None of my friends know about it im not allowed to tell anyone, so i have no support. Im in cali, and we have guidance counselors but also a full out therapist Mr. G, but idk how to get an appointment, plus im still to scared. I think im going to ask for 50-50 time with my parents but idk how my mom is going to react to that, but they set their next court date for in nov so i find out more then.


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