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Amereth Offline
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Join Date: September 17th 2010

Unhappy I'm sorry - September 18th 2010, 12:09 AM

I know who i am.
I know all my bad traits
I know all my good traits

But why my parents?
How is it i'm always the bad child in front of them?

I act selfish when i'm with them but i don't want to
and misunderstanding are made.

They think i'm selfish. THey blame themselves for my result. But i blame myself

I want to help my parents. I respect them. I love them. But why am i always the bad child?

My temper is terrible. I can't control it. I can't help it because i got that from years of being bulied in elementry school and becoming the class bully. My temper shoots up in front of my parents. WHy can't i show that to someone else?

My parents are trying so hard for me but in their eyes it seems like i'm drifting away into a bad road.

I do not smoke or take drugs. I try hard in my studies and try to live life to the fullest. But why do i show all my bad traits to them ONLY?

I used to cut myself because it was not that i hated my life, but MYSELF for making the lives of everyone around me miserable.

When i speak lies my parents don't believe me. When i speak the truth they don't believe me.

HAve you ever heard of the story "The Boy Who Cried Wolf"? I'm the boy (im actually a girl) in their eyes.

My parents don't know i'm sorry. They don't believe me and never will. THey love me and we have good times together, but i mess up the streak and everything goes downhill.

When everything goes downhill i have no one to talk to. I'm lost and i feel like God isn't there.

I feel weak, pathetic, and regretful i was not born as the "perfect" daughter my parents should deserve.

I'm a daughter they don't deserve.
There's no one to talk to and i don't have money for therapy.
What should i do?
Who can understand me?
No one that i know of.........
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...and pitchfork red
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Name: Rosary
Gender: Other
Location: somewhere over the rainbow

Posts: 227
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Join Date: January 7th 2009

Re: I'm sorry - September 19th 2010, 07:44 PM

Hey, hon. There will always be someone that understands you. That's what we're for on this here forum.

Communication with your parents is bad, and it's good of you that you recognise that this is both your and their fault. Your fault, because of your temper, and acting spoilt in front of them. Theirs, because they don't understand when you do and don't mean it.

If it's hard to explain things face-to-face with your parents, have you tried writing them a letter or email? I have done this before, when I couldn't bring myself to talk about things, and as soon as she had read it my mum just came in and hugged me. Your parents are more likely to believe you if you do something like this, because it takes work. Put effort into it, and work hard to say what you mean. In writing, you can edit and change things before you call it finished, so you can make sure you can't be misunderstood and only say what you want to.

Make sure you explain the reason for your bad temper. Explain that you are working hard and trying to become a better person. It might help to remind or tell them about your cutting in the past, to show that you really mean this. Stay honest and you'll get through to them.

Don't give up, not on your parents, yourself, or God, who is always there.
Best wishes,
r&r x

Have a free hug.

Why be stingy? Take another.

It's gonna be okay.
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