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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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She is jealous of me! - September 18th 2010, 06:09 AM

Soooo,this is kind of long so i'm just warning you,and i'm not quite sure what topic to put this under,and I also have a bit of a grammar problem you might notice,but i'll try my best to do this correctly! (I have changed anything in between ( ), " ",and anything in CAPS to the GREEN font!)


Well,see I have been going to the same church for 1 year and a few months already,and since my first day at that church there has been this girl that we're going to reffer to as K,and she's a bit of a drama mama,she fights in church,she curses in church,she picks random fights over things that really arn't a big deal,and when she's ticked off at someone...let's just say she isn't afriad to show it,she's like 13 or 14 years old but i'm not exactly sure,and I mean I don't really wanna call names or be offensive in any way,but she isn't exactly the kind of girl to take "pride" in her appearance I hope you're following me so far,she doesn't wear make-up,or do her hair,actually she doesn't even brush her hair or her teeth,she's not the kind to do her nails at all,she doesn't really dress in clothes that compliment her body or even fit her,usually it's some skimpy low cut shirt,that her boobs are hanging out of (btw she doesn't wear a bra),and a pair of old stained jeans that don't fit her,might I add she is kinda chubby,and well she's just kinda "bleh" ya' know,well anyways K has developed kind of a "habbit" of pointing out every littel imperfection about me,i'm considered the pretty one in teen-church and that's what the other teens say about me like i'm the barbie doll,and now I'M going to explain to you what kinda girl I am,I am a very skinny girl,I never go to church without my nails done,my make-up done properly,and my hair looking pretty,I just recently got a perm that looks too cute for words,I wear girly clothes like knee length skirts,and dresses and shirts that fit me (with a bra),and I wear high-heels not too high tho some are complicated to walk in,and I am wearing a black and white sparkly dress that I got the the mall this sunday to church with my black high-heels and i'm not sure what else i'm doing with the outfit yet,and I shower and brush my teeth every night,I wear accecories,I carry a purse that looks gorgeous lol,I always wear perfume,and well the main problem is K has developed this annoying habbit that she points out every littel imperfection about me,like the small hard to see white fuzzies above my upper lip,the acne I get on my shoulders and back,the littel zits I get on my face sometimes,the skin color (very pale),my being boney and skinny,and just random stuff,(i'm going to shouve this in here she is also from another STATE she only comes to my church because the church bus goes all way over to "the other state" and this is the closest church near me it's like 30 min from me),and I feel like she is only pointing those things out because she doesn't wanna feel like i'm prefect,and since i'm always all dolled up she can't ever find anything else to make fun of,AND some of my close friends have told me that she has mentioned being jealous of me like feeling like I got it all like all the friends,the boyfriends,the looks,the popularity,and i'm also very freindly and not stuck-up or mean,and idk I just don't know what to do about this anymore,I mean i'm the kinda girl who is very sweet and mature and doesn't fight like she does,so i'm lost in the situation!
   
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Re: She is jealous of me! - September 18th 2010, 08:42 AM

It sounds like K could use a friend... and I don't mean someone who can show her around the church and make her feel welcomed. I mean someone who genuinely cares about her, both on Sunday and every other day of the week. You spent an awful lot of time describing how "dumpy" she looks. You then spent an awful lot of time describing how "chic" you look. You claim to be a friendly person... and I'm sure you are... but pointing out how different the two of you are is only going to make K feel even more isolated, you know? She needs to feel like someone is taking an active interest in her. Why not let that someone be you?

I've been the "dumpy" girl at church services, and let me tell you... when you feel like you're not welcomed, you don't try to make friends. You protect yourself by lashing out, hurting the people around you before they can hurt you. Show K that she doesn't have to hide behind angry words any longer. Be sincere, and she'll start to warm up to you. It may not happen immediately... but if you're consistently kind to her, and try to spend some time with her at every church service... it'll begin to have a profound effect on her.

If you can get to know K better, then maybe you'll find the two of you have something in common (even if it's something as small as liking the same TV show/band). Then, you can tell your other friends about K's interests, and maybe they will take an interest in her as well. A little bit of kindness goes a long, LONG way. =)





   
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Re: She is jealous of me! - September 18th 2010, 09:24 PM

I already know her,she's been coming to my church for a about a year kinda like me,so I don't think I should try to deal with this anymore i'm thinking abut confronting her politly next time she says something mean to me,like telling what you said,that she doesn't have to hide behind angry words,b/c honestly i'm givin her too many chances,and i've laughed off too many insults. But yes I did spend alot of time on this post it was about abou 1:00 am when I started and spent about an hour on it because when somthing is really bugging me spend alot of time pondering over it,and typeing on here about it.
   
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