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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Angry One Big Happy Family...NOT - October 3rd 2010, 01:43 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

If you were to look at a regular picture of me and my parents in a family photo, you might think we're just one big happy family and that everything is just all great in our house. Well, you'd be dead wrong. Our house is never happy anymore because of all the fighting that goes on here and I'm getting sick of it., I want it to stop. It's making my urge to cut even stronger now, and I have no other way to cope. I've tried everything I can think of and nothing has worked. My parents fought allll day yesterday and I woke up this morning to hear my mom yelling at my dad, again. They fought alll night last night, they even fought about pizza and they weren't even drunk (but they did get drunk later on which made things so much worse). I'm just sick of it. I can't stand to live like this, but what else can I do? I'm only 13, it's not like I have any say in where I live. And no, I will not let myself get put into bloody foster care. I would rather stick around here and deal with the fucking fighting than to go through all that adoption shit. I just don't know of any way out of this.


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Re: One Big Happy Family...NOT - October 3rd 2010, 03:40 PM

Maybe you can go to a therapist or talk to another family member or friend and see if you can stay with them
   
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Re: One Big Happy Family...NOT - October 3rd 2010, 06:43 PM

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Originally Posted by ilysoccer View Post
Maybe you can go to a therapist or talk to another family member or friend and see if you can stay with them
I can't go to therapy because therapy costs money and we're poor. Can't talk to another family member-they all know what my parents do but they do nothing about it. As for staying with a friend, I'm not allowed to be out of the house unless for school.


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Re: One Big Happy Family...NOT - October 6th 2010, 04:47 AM

Have you ever tried talking to your parents about this? Any school counselors you can see for free?
   
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Re: One Big Happy Family...NOT - October 6th 2010, 02:33 PM

I think maybe you should try to call a family meeting, and let them know how their arguing is making you feel. This is their issue, and they need to solve it for themself, but I think it's important that you let them know how it's affecting you, to give them more incentive to sort things out.

I know you said that another family member can't do much to help you, but maybe you could stay with them until your parents sort a few things out. Let them know how upset you are, and that you want to stay with a different family member because it's getting too stressful for you.

I know you say that you can't see a therapist, but their should be a counsellor at your school that you could speak to. Don't be too frightened to speak to them, you'd be surprised how many students at your school would have spoken to them. Just speak to a teacher that you trust, and ask if you could speak to the school counsellor. Let them know about your home like and how it makes you feel. You'll be surprised at how good it can make you feel. And it could improve your life, so give it a try.

Take care.



   
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Re: One Big Happy Family...NOT - October 6th 2010, 03:01 PM

Delivery-Yes, I have talked to my parents about their fighting. They still do it. They both know how it makes me feel but they apparently don't care because they still do it anyways, even though I've told them how it makes me feel. I don't think they ever truly listened to what I was saying to them, otherwise they would have stopped. But last night they got drunk again, fought again. I don't get why they can't just stop the fighting. And why would they still do it even though they know it just makes me feel worse? I'm not even talking about their drinking, just the fighting. I mean really, is it really that hard for them to go a day without fighting? It must be, if they won't even quit for their own daughter's sake.
As for the other thing you mentioned, the bit about the school counselor-yes, my school does have a counselor that the students can talk to for free. However, I have already been to counseling before and it hasn't helped. I know lots of people say that talking to somebody helps (I suspect that most people who say this have never been depressed) but most of the time it just makes things worse. It's especially bad when you're like me and you can't even bring yourself to say anything to anyone because you feel like you can't trust people due to the fact that trusting people got you where you are today-depressed, suicidal and out of options.

Taylalatbh-I've already let my parents know how their arguing makes me feel, and you know what? They still do it! That just shows you either how much they care about me or how well they chose to listen to what I have to say. That being said, letting them know how I feel has been proven useless many times. Yes, I've tried making them listen to me many times. They either never listened or they just don't care. You see, they think they've had it harder than me when they were my age, and that makes them think that my problems are insignificant compared to theirs'. They think that because they never got help when they were my age that I shouldn't get any help, either. I've tried making them understand that my problems are serious and that I do need help, but they just won't have any of it.
Oh, and my parents would NEVER let me live with another family member, not even one that they trust. I am to always be within their sight unless I am at school.
As for the counselor thing, read what I said to Delivery.


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Re: One Big Happy Family...NOT - October 13th 2010, 09:53 AM

Get a social worker.
   
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Re: One Big Happy Family...NOT - October 13th 2010, 09:59 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Delivery View Post
Get a social worker.
Please explain how I do that without my parents finding out and getting pissed at me?


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