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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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LittleFish Offline
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My mom is so immature - October 5th 2010, 04:29 AM

My mother is so immature. She's like a six year-old in a fifty-something year-old's body. She walks around all day singing loudly to herself, making dorky sounds like fart noises, and talking in this really stupid voice that's like something a kindergartener would use when they're trying to be "funny." And she thinks that just because she's physically impaired (she has a lot of back problems and can't move around much) means that everyone has to baby her. My dad takes care of her all the time, and all she ever does is gripe about him and yell at him for not paying attention to her or listening to what she's saying. And he is listening, I can tell, she just wants to complain.

Aside from that, she has bipolar tendencies. By bipolar, I don't mean bipolar disorder, but the quality of constantly alternating between extremes. One minute she's talking about how much she loves me and how wonderful her life is, and if I do one thing that she doesn't like - one thing - I'm a spoiled brat and I'm trying to take over her life. She's a control freak. Anytime my dad and I happen to disagree with her, we're "ganging up" on her, and she won't come out of her room and quit being a drama queen until we both apologize. God forbid we should have our own opinions. She thinks she's always right. If she makes an assumption, that's automatically the answer. Like one time, I came home late and she just decided that I had been doing something bad and grounded me without letting me explain that I was at the library, getting tutored like she asked me to. And she told me herself that I can tell her if she does something that bothers me, but when I ask her to quiet down, she yells at me and says she can be as loud as she want because she's my mother. The other day, I told her she was being obnoxious, so she threatened to hit me. I told her I'd contact child services, and she said, "Yeah, like they'd want you. Shut the hell up. I'm your mother, and I'll talk to you however the fuck I want."

She's not abusive. She doesn't put me down, she doesn't hurt me. But she acts like everyone's out to get her and can't stand it when she doesn't get her way. She's obnoxious and loud. She won't listen to criticism, constructive or not. She thinks she's God. She's a drama queen. I can't stand her anymore. I used to be so mad at my sister for moving out, but now all I can think about is finding a way to get away from my mother. She's driving me insane. I love her, but I can't stand to be around her anymore. She is good to me. But only under the condition that I do everything she says and never question her. Any advice?
   
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Re: My mom is so immature - October 5th 2010, 09:12 PM

She probably acts that way because she is either in pain, depressed, ashamed, or hurt in some way and doesn't know how to express it so she acts like that. Just a guess. I would talk to a counselor and maybe she could help you out and arrange a family meeting so you could talk to your mom with the rest of your family.
   
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Re: My mom is so immature - October 6th 2010, 04:26 AM

^I agree with that. Is there any way you can move in with your sister?
   
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Re: My mom is so immature - October 8th 2010, 05:53 AM

My mom is the exact same way you described, minus the farting noises. Lol
One moment she'll tell me how lucky she is to have me, the next she's telling me I'm the nastiest, meanest person alive. Although I don't really know the answer to why she's like this, I want you to know you're not alone! I figure my mom is just an overly sensitive person, maybe yours is too. I try to just keep her happy and be the calm one because I'm pretty much stuck with her until I'm eighteen.
   
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Re: My mom is so immature - October 8th 2010, 08:12 AM

A few basic questions: is she like this to other family members? Is she like this to strangers or any friends your father or you bring over? Has she ever seen a psychologist or psychiatrist for herself even if she wasn't admitted to a psych ward? Was she like this to your sister before she moved out? Lastly, have your father and you (and possibly sister) held a family meeting with her to address her behaviours or have you gone to see a family counsellor?


I can rip you off, and steal all your cash, suckerpunch you in the face, stand back and laugh. Leave you stranded as fast as a heart-attack.
- Danko Jones (I Think Bad Thoughts)
   
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Re: My mom is so immature - October 11th 2010, 10:39 PM

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one out there in this situation. To answer the questions:

1. She's like this to everyone in the family.
2. She acts that way around familiar friends but tends to be more polite with guests.
3. She has seen psychiatrists and psychologists before as she was abused during her childhood.
4. We haven't had a family meeting, but I'm considering it since my counselor also does family counseling. I believe that her strange behaviour could be a result of internal conflicts that were never solved earlier in therapy, but I've tried numerous times to ask her about her behaviour and always get the same unhelpful answers. I'll see if I can arrange something with the counselor, though. That's a good suggestion.
   
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