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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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major bust up / fall out with my friend. - October 8th 2010, 07:37 PM

ive had a major bust up / fall out with my friend. to the point where my friend came on facebook just to tell me ' i do not care' when i was on the phone to her when i told her i was not going to sleep over at someone elses house with her apart from the fact i do not this other person to well and they wont even be there, i dont sleep well i dont sleep well in my own bed let alone anyone elses house! i told my friend this, she would not take no for an answer she did in the end after i had shouted at her. but she told me to go fuck myself. and to fuck off.

ive been friends with her since i was about 6 or 7 years old im now 20! i feel like ive lost a part of me, i feel as though something is missing, shes like a sister to me, she wont talk to me, she came on facebook simply to tell me ' i do not care' then logged out agian. i cant help but feel like i have done something wrong to upset her, i want to say sorry to her but i dont think she will accept the apology - i need my friend back, its hurting so much knowing that she is pissed off with me, and that she just does not care about me, i want and need my friend back, its like my friends dead, i miss her so much, though shes not dead we have just had a major falling out. i really want to be friends with her agian.

but i know my friend just doesnt care, i dont even know if i can repair the freindship we had i dont know what to do i miss her, i want to appologise to her but she siad to me on facebook ' i do not care' logged in said that then logged off agian



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Re: major bust up / fall out with my friend. - October 8th 2010, 08:08 PM

Give her some time to cool off and then try to speak to her again. Ask her why she is upset with you, and see if there is anything that you can do to make things better for your relationship together. I'm sure you will be able to fix this, you just need to give her some time to calm down about this.

Take care.



   
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Re: major bust up / fall out with my friend. - October 9th 2010, 05:18 PM

it sounds like she was just really upset and overreacted. if you think about it, the fact that SHE wanted YOU with her at that other persons house tells me that she really cares about you and values your relationship with her. if you didn't really matter to her, your saying no wouldn't have upset her like it did because she could just go alone or ask someone else. Similar to how you feel rejected by her, I would bet that she actually felt rejected by you when you told her you wouldnt go to that persons house with her. It does sound like she selfishly overreacted when you told her you wouldnt go, because she should have been considering your feelings about staying at the strange house before she went and cussed you out, but i guarantee you she got off the phone with you feeling just as bad as you did. It sounds like getting angry is just her way of coping with difficult issues and feelings even though it usually makes things worse, and i would also bet that she probably wishes she didn't react that way but she just cant help it. I would say you just need to give her a day or two (or maybe a few) to cool off before calling her again and trying to work it out. I know its difficult, especially when you feel hurt yourself, but remember to take her feelings into account as well. For instance, YOU may feel like she doesnt love you because she cussed you out at YOUR expense, but SHE may feel like you dont love her because you refused to go with her when she needed you at HER expense. Think of it this way; by truly loving her and taking her feelings into account before your own, you will be teaching her by example to do the same for you as well as other people in her life.


Sometimes it feels hard to believe, but you have to remember that a real relationship like that with a best friend that has been built up over time does not just crumble all in one second over a single misunderstanding.


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Re: major bust up / fall out with my friend. - October 11th 2010, 09:53 AM

she 'spoke' to me on facebook the other day - i asked her how she was and she said she was ok, and then when i told her im tired she said ' i dont care'. ive spoke to my mum about what happened, and my mum agress with me, that because i do not know the person to well its not ideal for me to go and stay there, but i can also see why shes annoyed she doesnt want to stay there on her own, but she wont be on her own, she will be with a dog, and i dont sleep in my own house let alone someone elses house so i was honest with her, and she tried to telling me your more confident than me, at this point i told her i'm not confident and she said but your braver than me at this point i told her ' i'm not i jsut act confident and brave' (this all on the phone when we first argued) and after this she told me to go f myself and such like, and then since the other day when she logged onto facebook, we have not spoken since, i am thinking of ringing her up and apologising to her, (even though i know that she should apologise to me first) but if honest i am missing her loads, and it hurts. and its like lost part of me more than a friend, we spend alot of time together and this whole situation is hurting loads.



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Re: major bust up / fall out with my friend. - October 11th 2010, 12:40 PM

Give her a little bit of time to cool off and then try to meet up with her or call her for a chat.

Try to explain everything to her and apologise. She'll understand eventually, she might just need some time.



   
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Re: major bust up / fall out with my friend. - October 11th 2010, 06:06 PM

i plan to do that, i saw the person who's house i was ment to be sleeping round she siad ' oh blabla is at our house wana come over ' i told them ' we've kinda fallen out as i told her i cant sleep round yours on wednesday ' they then told me not to worry and that she can be odd like that at times, i'm dreading college tommrow - some of her friends are in my class. and i have a feeling she will have told them that i've been a bitch ( i honestly have not) . but if her friends are in tommrow im pretty sure they are going to ask me about it.

i don't need any arguments this week - my grandpas in hospital for the next 5 days, so if anyone starts on me tommrow at college because my friends been telling them about whats happened i fear i may snap at them.



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Re: major bust up / fall out with my friend. - October 11th 2010, 06:40 PM

my friend just rang me we're talking agian, and its all sorted. i have missed talking to my friend so much.



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Re: major bust up / fall out with my friend. - October 12th 2010, 08:23 PM

I'm glad to hear you've worked things out! =)
Closing this thread, since the issue has been resolved.





   
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