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Shaytun Offline
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I was right about this year - October 10th 2010, 04:14 AM

I knew that this year was going to be a low time. I knew that I wasn't going to talk much to anyone; knew I wasn't going to meet "someone", or make any close friends, in fact, friends period. I changed completely over the summer. From angry and mean, to happy and social. Most reactions are "he's so creepy." creepy for being myself? People are weird, but whatever, what bugs me are those people who put on those smiles and act like we're friends, but they think differently.

I tried expressing some feeling for a somewhat close friend I met this year, she hurt herself, I made her a dumb get well card as a joke. Said she was a great friend, happy to have met her, she meant something to me.
The reaction was stuffing it awkwardly into her back pack and a mere: thanks.

Don't think I'll ever learn. This is after she almost broke her ankle and me staying with her all lunch, getting her things together, helping her to the nurse's office. While in tears, calling me her best friend. Perhaps it was said accidently; in a fit. Though she has few friends.
Whatever. I think I was wrong to presume changing would make a difference.

I am the stone that the builder refused.
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Re: I was right about this year - October 10th 2010, 11:16 AM

Maybe this girl is just feeling awkward because she showed you such a vulnerable side of herself and doesn't know how to express herself in front of you now. She probably did appreciate the card but didn't know how to respond to you having given it to her.

And let me tell you that people thought I was weird as hell in high school, but my weirdness pays the bills now and the people closest to me love me for all of the reasons that people in high school insulted.

Jillian Jayde

In the depths of winter, I looked inside myself and found an invincible spring. - Camus
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Shaytun Offline
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Re: I was right about this year - October 10th 2010, 09:57 PM

Well now she doesn't text me back, if I talk to her she responds but not the same, she gives me strange looks.

Well I think its just stupid to label me creepy, people who smile at my face and act like their these really true, nice people. Don't act like my friend if you think I'm this or that. Bullshit, no one who judges others is true themselves.

I am the stone that the builder refused.
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Re: I was right about this year - October 11th 2010, 02:16 AM

You were not right about this year. You have changed for the better and the others haven't. It is sort of a good thing that you have not made friends because that means no one hasn't accepted that you are a great person. When you are meant to meet someone and met friends that are worthy of being your friend then you will. The school year is still sort of new, you never know what will happen.
And don't hate on yourself or don't tell yourself you were stupid or you should not have done what you did for this girl. You were being true to yourself and you were being a great friend and that is a GOOD thing. Perhaps, she just doesn't know how to handle it or how to take it. She may have never had a friend as caring as you.
I would give her some time and then just let things get back to the way they were. Maybe she took it as a sign that you were looking for something more and if that isn't the case, then just to clear things. Tell her that isn't what you were looking to do.She may not be talking to you as much because she thinks you want to be more than her friend and doesn't know how to handle that as well; and like I said if that is not what you want then tell her that was not your intention. Tell her that the card was to make her feel good or better because she went through some shitty things that day. She may have awkwardly put the card in her back pack and said thanks so weirdly because she didn't know how to handle it on the spot. Us girls can do somethings that come off as mean if we are put on the spot (even if it doesn't seem like we were put on the spot)
Don't give up hope in the school year or the people at your school, they just haven't realized that they need to be more open and that you are a great person. Give them time as well, they will realize it.

Always remember to put your happiness first.
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