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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Acey Enn Offline
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Name: Anna
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Best friend decided to dump me. - October 18th 2010, 03:29 AM

A little background: This girl and I had been friends since I was 13 and she was 14, and best friends since I was 15 and she was 16. We are now 17 and 18, respectively, so that's quite a while. I'm not calling her by name, for fear that she'll run across this. I should also note that I have Asperger's Syndrome and bipolar disorder, to give you some perspective on my emotional issues.

In August, we went to Disneyland together with a mutual friend, who I will also not name. I thought everything went smoothly, save for a few breakdowns on my part. Apparently these breakdowns affected my friends pretty majorly, but neither of them said anything.

Fast-forward to October 8th. We had been IMing and roleplaying as usual the day before (it's a long-distance friendship), so when she logged on, I greeted her normally. Instead of her usual greeting, she said she was going to be honest with me, and then proceeded to tell me that I was a bad friend and needed to work on a lot of my issues (which is at least partially true). She said she'd contact me again in a month and maybe we could get things sorted out. I was devastated, but I figured she'd be back in a month and things would go back to normal.

A week later--this last Friday--she IMed me again. She told me she'd sugarcoated things the last time and began to really lay into me, even going so far as to call me a bitch. She then said she couldn't be my friend again.

Ever since then, I've been basically on the brink of insanity and contemplating suicide. My mom even contacted her mom, and while there's some hope that my friend (should I really be calling her that right now?) will come around, I'm utterly terrified that this really is the end of our friendship.

The weird thing is how sudden it was. The friend in question has always been a total sweetheart and really fun to be around, and was always there when I needed her. I understand that she's under a lot of stress right now (she has emotional problems of her own, recently moved, and is struggling in college), but the way she did a complete 180 was shocking to me.

My parents and other friends, thankfully, have been supportive, and my psychiatrist plans on finding a counselor for me to see, but I'm just so scared that she'll stay mad at me forever, and it's really been consuming my life, no matter how much I try to fight it.

To make a long story short, the girl I thought of as my best friend has decided, seemingly out of the blue, that I'm a bad friend and a bitch in general. I can't contact her because I know I'd only make things worse.

What do you suggest?
   
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KaityKandy Offline
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Re: Best friend decided to dump me. - October 19th 2010, 01:49 AM

It's really hard to lose a friend, especially your best friend. You've got to try to see how she is looking at the situation though. Through her eyes, your break downs could have seemed annoying or useless to her because she might going through some really bad times in her life at the moment. Maybe she wanted you to comfort her with her problems that she was hiding inside instead of you just dwelling on your own misfortune.

Now I'm not saying this is your fault, but that is kind of what I got from the situation. If you get in contact with her, then you should ask her what it is that you did that made you a "bitch". Talking it through really helps, and if she doesn't want to talk about it now, give it time. Fights usually lose their edges over time.

For now, concentrate on your other friends and family. Friends come and go, but your family will always be their to love you no matter what.
   
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