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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Annual Family Fights. - October 19th 2010, 04:32 PM

It's officially started.
Mom and dad are fighting again. I suppose i've gotten used to it now. Around this time of year the fighting starts. Right this very second they are screaming about money. Pathetic really.

But it's nearly christmas time too.
First christmas without Grandad so it means we have to eat out for crimbo dinna.
Fight 1.

Me and mom hate my dads side of the family. Christmas means having to 'talk' to them and do whatever else families do. Not nice.
Fight 2

No doubt that there will be ANOTHER Christmas fight on Christmas night where everyone will end up walking out, leaving me and my little sister strounded. I then drink until i can't speak due to stress and the family doesn't talk for a whole year.

Yeh, this happened 2 years ago. Over a fucking dog.
I don't even know how we celebrated crimbo last year, I can't remember.

But yeh, this is 'Annual Family Fight' time so, wish me luck. x


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Re: Annual Family Fights. - October 19th 2010, 08:47 PM

The holidays can be pretty stressful, huh? So much planning goes into where you'll be on which days, what you'll do, who you'll be with, etc. It's actually quite sad, because the holidays are supposed to be times of joy, not times to throw hissy fits.

I know this may seem like an obvious question... but have you ever talked to your parents about this pattern you've noticed? Sometimes, people simply aren't aware of these things, and having an "outsider's" point-of-view can help shed light on the situation.

If your family doesn't want to eat out for Crimbo Dinner... why not plan to have it at home? You could each make one dish and eat together as a family. It's going to require a bit of planning (finding recipes, buying ingredients ahead of time), but you can still have that feel-good family dinner together without your grandfather.

There isn't much you can do about seeing your dad's relatives. Christmas tends to be that one time of the year when the entire "family" gets together. You CAN, however, adopt a different attitude this year. You don't have to like your dad's relatives, but you can be polite and chat about nothing in particular. If you and your mom can do that for a few days, your father will be MUCH happier as a result, which will lead to less fighting around the holidays.

Now, maybe you're thinking, "My parents are CRAZY, they'll fight no matter what I say or do!" If that's truly the case, then I'm sorry, and I wish you all the best around Christmastime. More often than not, however, parents CAN be reasoned with, and you CAN make a difference in regards to what they fight about, how often they fight, how intensely they fight, etc. Even if you can't change THEIR attitudes, you can change YOURS, and that will allow you to have a less stressful Christmas this year.





   
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Re: Annual Family Fights. - October 19th 2010, 08:56 PM

Hey thanks for the feedback, Truly appreciated. It's kind of necessary that we eat out this year as it's my nans idea because it's the first christmas without grandad. Nobody's really happy about the idea, but it just really pisses me off because i don't think it's right to eat out for crimbo. In order to have a really crimbo, you need to have your own homemade dinner and sadly, that's not going to happen this year x


How come dumb stuff seems so smart while you're doing it?
Good friends get drunk with you. Best friends hold your hair back when you've had a bit too much to drink!
There's no such thing as good girls gone wrong, only bad girls found out.
I've learned...
that maturity has more to do with what types
of experiences you've had and what you've
learned from them and less to do with how
many birthdays you've celebrated.

  Send a message via MSN to LastRedAppleStanding  
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Re: Annual Family Fights. - October 20th 2010, 12:17 AM

Maybe your nan wants to eat out because she doesn't want to be reminded of how Crimbo dinners used to be? I can kind of understand where she's coming from, if that's the case. She may feel your grandfather's absence more profoundly if you're all together as a family at home, but he's not there. Changing the location and atmosphere of this year's dinner could be her way of coping with her loss.





   
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Re: Annual Family Fights. - October 20th 2010, 03:04 AM

I'm really sorry. My family seems to have a fight every year too, although not always around the same time.

*Hugs* It sucks and I'm sorry.


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Re: Annual Family Fights. - October 27th 2010, 01:59 PM

Hey
I'm sorry. But it will be fine.
Yeah, that's how my family is too, but I only see them every 4-5 years.
*hugs*
   
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