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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
ilysoccer Offline
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October 28th 2010, 01:25 AM

I'm losing control, I don't know what to do, I'm falling apart. My best friend knows everything about me pretty much except for the fact that I'm in love with her. She's had a really hard life and has been through a lot and has told me very little, even though we've only been friends for 8 months we are EXTREMELY close and I do think I was put on this earth to be her best friend. The only problem is that ik she's been through a lot but not knowing all of it is killing me. I want to know what she's been through so badly and be able to comfort her but I can't and won't force her to tell me but I'm afraid she in pain and idk what to do help me please.

She suffers depression and she never opens up to people but I could help her and I wouldn't hurt her and idk what to do I just want her to be happy...

Last edited by PSY; October 31st 2010 at 11:56 PM. Reason: Merged consecutive posts.
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Re: PLEASE HELP ME - October 28th 2010, 02:50 AM

opening up for some people makes things alot worse, respect the fact she obviously wants to keep it to herself, your not a psychiatrist, chances are you could comfort her, but any help you'd be able to give would be temporary, and she might regret telling you after.

Like I said, respect her wishes and let her sort it out on her own if she wants to.
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Re: PLEASE HELP ME - October 29th 2010, 01:43 AM

To be a good person, you need to do the right thing even when it hurts. In this matter, you need to be patient with her. Since you are so eager to be trusted, start by being trustworthy. Be a good friend and care for her even without her telling you what happened. Care for her simply because you like her and let your actions show her that you care. If you really want to be a good friend and want her to trust you, then start being trustworthy. Be a good friend, be there for her and build the relationship of friendship and then after time you can start telling her about how you feel.

I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.
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Re: PLEASE HELP ME - October 29th 2010, 01:55 AM

I'm actually in a similar situation. My "best friend" tells me he's been through things that no one else has, and he won't tell me anything about them. I trust him, but it's possible that he doesn't completely trust me yet or just isn't comfortable talking about it. But that's okay. When he's ready, he'll talk to me. I imagine the same will happen for you

But if at any time you believe her to be in danger (suicidal, self-harming, abuse, etc), even if it's just a gut feeling, let someone know. It's better that you tell someone and be wrong then to NOT tell someone and be right.

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Re: PLEASE HELP ME - October 30th 2010, 12:51 PM

so like u should pressure her 2 c sum1
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: PLEASE HELP ME - November 1st 2010, 12:07 AM

I agree with the first two posters. As much as it hurts, you need to respect her wishes and let her open up at her own pace. Even if you mean well, convincing her to open up sooner than she'd like may cause her to regret her decision, and possibly even resent you in the future. Let her know that you're always willing to listen, but don't pry. A good friend is not always defined by what they can do for a friend in need of help... they are defined by their willingness to listen. =) That in itself can do wonders for a person who is hurting emotionally.

Like Chris said, if you ever suspect she may hurt herself, please tell a trusted adult (ex. your parents, her parents, a teacher, a school counselor, etc.).

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Re: PLEASE HELP ME - November 1st 2010, 01:44 AM

No, I wouldn't ever force her to tell me, I wouldn't let her if she wasn't ready. I guess I'm just afraid and idk, I just worry...
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