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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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babymegs Offline
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Help please. - October 28th 2010, 06:38 AM

This is gonna be a long story btw; so I will go ahead and apologize in advance.

Alright, my parents have gotten a divorce this summer and it's been very hard on me. I haven't been able to concentrate in school and I've been stressed. But the main thing that has been bothering me is my mom. She hasn't even been divorced for a full month yet and is going out and drinking and partying like she is in her 20's. She is 51 years old and I really am disappointed in her. She's been wasting any of the extra child support money on beer or cigarettes or going out to places to party. The first night she went, she got so hammered she passed out & lost her cell phone. She had to pay about 40 dollars to get it turned back on plus pay for a new phone. The MAIN reason I'm posting this is because she has been going out and having sex with all these random men and then just dumping them for another. And she doesn't even try to keep it private anymore. She literally sits around and begs the men to have sex with her. (Not to mention the fact that most of them are in their 30s or 20s.) It just really bugs me. I know my father would never do that kinda stuff & even if he did, he would never tell me about it. Cause he knows it would hurt my feelings. I haven't told him about my mom, yet. But if she doesn't change; I'm gonna tell him. I have tried talking to her about it; but all she says is that she is 51 and she can do whatever she wants. I understand that, but I just wish she could have a little more class or not do it around me or tell me about it. Someone please help me. I don't know what to do & I'm so disappointed in her.
   
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Re: Help please. - October 28th 2010, 11:52 AM

Hey there,

I'm sorry that things aren't going too well for you at the moment, parents divorces can be really hard on the children, and even the parents can take hard too. It seems as though your mother is having what they call a 'mid-life crisis'. Maybe she feels like she is 'finally' free, and that now she can do what she wants. I know it can be really stressful to know that your mother is behaving like a 20 something. It could just be a coping mechanism for her to get through the divorce. There may even not be a reason behind her actions. But like she has said, she's a grown woman and she can make her own decisions. Even if they aren't the right ones.

I think the best thing for you to do is to try and talk to her about how the things that she is doing is making you feel. From experience, I know that this option may not go so well, and she may choose not to listen to you. Which is then when I would advise to speak to a trusted adult, like your father or another family member. Maybe they could speak some sense into your mother and hopefully get her to fix herself up. But unfortunately, you can't really force her to do anything, and they could be nothing that anyone could do to make her stop. She might just have to try and get it out of her system.

I know it's going to be hard to try and get through this, but just try and get some support from other family members. If you'd like to talk some more, feel free to message me. Take care.



   
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Jacksonian Offline
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Re: Help please. - October 29th 2010, 01:36 AM

Hey there, you don't have to apologize but in the future try and shorten as much as you can while keeping the story intact cause sometimes people come on here to help when tired and the strength to go through something long isn't there. Anyways onto the advice.

Try and tell her what you just told us here exactly word for word. And in addition, explain to her that it hurts you. Other than that there is nothing in your power that you can do except talk to her. Sorry, some things just are not in our personal power to control in this instance that thing being freewill.


I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.
   
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