TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives


You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
BlueWolf Offline
A lost wolf
Regular TeenHelper
*****
 
BlueWolf's Avatar
 
Name: Jessica
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: Georgia, USA

Posts: 352
Blog Entries: 5
Join Date: January 14th 2010

college friends - November 10th 2010, 10:24 PM

Everyone kept saying that college will be better. Well, it's near the end of my first semester, and it's only gotten worse.

I mean, sure, I have more freedom, time away from my mom, and time to be with my bf, but there are other things that have dragged me down, and I don't mean just the struggle of grades and keeping my motivation up.

Firstly, I am in the process of switching my medication, I was being treated for GAD and bipolar disorder, but I switched to amoryn which is an all natural medicine for severe depression. So far, not working. Anyway, I used to be friends with my roommates. The first one I have known since high school, and the second I met a month before school started. I grew close to this new friend and lost my high school friend. She was excited to me in college and went off with other friends and doing things that I couldn't do due to the lack of money. I have no job, nor does my mom or my dad(who lives in another state). So, you know, it was okay, and we weren't disliking each other or anything. But then things happened. One day during lab, I got into a fight with my new friend and we stopped talking for a week, which she never got over. I acted like it never happened, typical me. Still we were friend again for a short period of time, and it gradually declined. She started spending time with my high school friend while I spend all my time with my bf who I have grown incredibly attached to for multiple reasons, one being he understands a lot of what I go through, having gone through it himself. Anyway, I quit staying in my dorm room, and started staying with him to give them space. They seemed to be getting tired of me. Everyone needs space right? Okay, three weeks passed and I recieved an e-mail about noise complaints from my dorm. I went in the dorm room to get some of my stuff, and came across my new friend, or who once was. I told her about the e-mail, not knowing if she got it. I simply said that I just wanted her to be aware so no one got into any trouble. She said okay. Then I asked her to tell my other friend, and make sure she was aware too. That's went hell broke loose. She started yelling at me, telling me that she wasn't going to tell her, that she wasn't going to get into this. Into what? She started telling me how she was starting to see my true colors, how I snap on at stupid stuff, started calling me names, and telling me that no one wanted to hang around me when I was with my bf all the time. She said that's why I had no friends. Why it was just me and my bf. I was stunned and hurt, and for some reason, everyone is ignoring me. I tried to talk to her calmly about it, but she told me she didn't like me, and just because I apologize or try to make it right doesn't change anything. I have no idea what to do.

They tell everyone about me, and they only hear their side not mine. I feel more alone than ever. Especially with my old friends so far away and trying to move on with their own lives. I'm loosing everyone, and the hope of finding new friends, is gone.

Any advice? I mean... I feel horrible and completely at a loss. I guess I'm the type of person who can move on from any situation, but I cannot handle it when something is lost in the process if that makes sense. That's the hard part for me. Change, it's not something that comes easy for me, but I'm willing to try if I must. I don't know what to do. Things like this keep happening, and no one will even talk to me rationally.


Self-harm free since 10.1.2013
"You have not failed if you learned something from it."
"Life's not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain"
"Weak heart, Dying soul, Falling apart, Make me whole, These broken blues, Peirce your being, Hide the truth, You won't be seeing."
"Deeper, Deeper, Deeper inside me I live a life that seems to be a lost reality."
"Big Brother is watching."

   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Release9 Offline
Member
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
Release9's Avatar
 

Posts: 213
Join Date: October 27th 2010

Re: college friends - November 11th 2010, 12:43 AM

Oh...I am sorry.
I have went through this same problem. Whatever you do, don't ignore it, but don't make a huge fuss about it.
You'll find some new people who are more like you, I promise!
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Stupidity Kills
Outside, huh?
**********
 
OMFG!You'reActuallySmart!'s Avatar
 

Posts: 4,500
Blog Entries: 10
Join Date: December 19th 2009

Re: college friends - November 12th 2010, 07:35 AM

The two of them definitely don't seem to want to be friends with you anymore, so I suggest you do the same. I have no idea if what she said by you showing your true colours is right or not but it seems your high-school friend has been gossiping about you to this other friend. This gossip, whether accurate or inaccurate, has made her hate you and there's really nothing you can do to repair it. Don't apologize to them or try to talk to them because it's only going to add fuel to the fire, so let the two of them be and have nothing to do with them.

Try to find other students to just have a conversation with outside class because that's the easiest way to make friends. In university, everyone is focused on courses and grades, so ask someone how they like the course, how they did on the last test, what they're studying and similar questions. Don't worry about the person not liking you because you're still in your first year/semester so they tend to have the largest classes. If it goes sour, you likely have at least a 100 others to ask.

People respond to body and facial language, so the best is to make yourself seem willing to talk. If you're stressed, that may not be unusual given the courses so being a bit stressed is normal, don't fret over it. You could even have a small conversation in-class before the lecture begins, such as introducing yourself, asking about the last test/paper/quiz, asking how they like the course and what they're studying. You'll have time to do that, maybe not all the questions. You can also ask if they're willing to form a study group as many students are very willing. Hopefully, that person knows someone else and have them join. After studying, you can hang out and they'll hopefully want to because they may end up liking you as a friend plus as a study partner. Don't mention anything about the other 2 people unless they specifically ask because that may make the people unwilling to be around you as they may see you as a person who whines and complains.


I can rip you off, and steal all your cash, suckerpunch you in the face, stand back and laugh. Leave you stranded as fast as a heart-attack.
- Danko Jones (I Think Bad Thoughts)
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
BlueWolf Offline
A lost wolf
Regular TeenHelper
*****
 
BlueWolf's Avatar
 
Name: Jessica
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: Georgia, USA

Posts: 352
Blog Entries: 5
Join Date: January 14th 2010

Re: college friends - November 15th 2010, 02:54 AM

Thank you, that was great advice. I really don't like knowing that I shouldn't really try to make things right. I've been trying to converse with others, but my college is small, and most people that I start to talk to, end up being friends with my two so called friends. My dorm suite is aparently the hottest place to be and I'm unwelcomed. I stay with my boyfriend all the time. I haven't given up, nor do I really talk about it, I dont even want to think about it really.


Self-harm free since 10.1.2013
"You have not failed if you learned something from it."
"Life's not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain"
"Weak heart, Dying soul, Falling apart, Make me whole, These broken blues, Peirce your being, Hide the truth, You won't be seeing."
"Deeper, Deeper, Deeper inside me I live a life that seems to be a lost reality."
"Big Brother is watching."

   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
college, friends

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.