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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Don't know what to do - November 30th 2010, 08:08 PM

Sorry this is so long. I appreciate you reading the whole thing. =]

So I have this one friend, let's call her K. So K and I go to school together, and have for the last 3 years. We've been friends for 2. Most of the people we're friends with are friends with both of us, but K is definitely closer to most of them than I am.

So this year, K's been really bossy; but apparently I'm the only one that's really bothered by it. She just assumes that she can take whatever she wants, even if other people are using it, since she wants it.
Example 1: (some of these are small when by themselves, but just imagine it time after time after time. It never ends.)
When working on a project, that I had typed and put effort into making it look nice, she goes through and changes everything since she didn't like it instead of talking to me and compromising.
Example 2:
Study hall during band. I do my math homework, she's in another math class but has the same book, so we still had different homework. She tries to take my math book so she can use it, without even asking first.
Example 3:
Another study hall during band. I have a long homework problem for Algebra 2 that we have to graph and plug into our calculator and then sketch. The one problem alone takes a good 15 minutes atleast. I'm almost done. She takes my calculator, clears it, does simple addition, then gives it back. I ask her for it while shes using it saying "K I was using that." atleast 3 times, she doesn't give it back till shes done. I have to completely restart the problem. After this I finally say something to her. She says I'm overreacting and "it's just a calculator." After Days and Days of arguing, she finally agrees that she'll atleast ask next time.
Example 4:
English class. Today. There's a substitute teacher, so we're reading a short story from a book. There aren't enough books for the whole class, so we have to share within our "Short Story Groups" there's 5 of us. Y and I are sharing a book. S has her own book. and T and K are sharing a book. S, Y, and I give up on reading the story since it makes no sense, and figure that we should atleast try to get credit for answering the question (that has nothing to do with the actual events of the story.) K decides that she "can't" read while sharing the book with someone else. She proceeds to try to take S's book saying that the 3 of us (S, Y and myself) could just work together, since we're not reading. We tell her no, that we have to go back through the stories and look for specific examples of the author's writing style, and she gets mad at us and says we're over reacting and blah.
And the list goes on and on. There were more times than those, but those are just the most recent ones that I can remember the best.

So basically idk what to do about her anymore. It's like I don't want to be her friend, but I don't want to be alone and not have any friends even more. So I was just kinda wondering what you guys thought. Am I overreacting? Is she wrong? Am I wrong? what should I do? etc.

thanks for reading =] and any advice whatsoever is appreciated.


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Re: Don't know what to do - December 3rd 2010, 01:07 AM

Talk to her other friends to see what they feel like. Perhaps confront her, on your own though. If you gang up in a group of 5 with all sorts of accusations it'l leave a sour taste in her mouth and make any friendship awkward.

Do you know much about what goes on in her familly? Often people behave like jerks and don't even realise it when they are stressed out or even depressed over something else.


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Then politics doesn't care about you either. Truth. You've got to make your voice heard, if you want to be listened to. But that's too logical for some people, so let me go a step further. Not making your voice heard, leaves other people free to hijack it by speaking on your behalf, even if they don't actually give a shit about you. That's politics. So, make your voice heard. That's not a quote from anywhere. That's just me.


   
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Re: Don't know what to do - December 3rd 2010, 11:21 PM

Talk to her about it. And when you are using something or she tries to take something when you are using it, simply tell her to wait for you to finish using it.

If it becomes too much, then just leave her alone, or keep being friends with her but not so close to her.


I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.
   
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