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Brandon Offline
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The Grandmother & Dad (long) - January 19th 2011, 08:55 PM

I live with my grandparents. I hate saying it, I'm not proud of it, but it's something that I've learned to accept. Perhaps I'm in denial of how pathetic I really am, but I just don't have the motivation to get a job, make money, and somehow manage to move out of the house. The main reason of what I keep telling myself is that the only reason why I have no reason to move out is because I'm focused on getting a college education. So because I'm focused on getting a college education, I have no incentive to move out. I can't afford to live on my own, and I definitely can't go to college as well.

I'm okay with it knowing that the economy is bad and I'm not the only 20 year old still living with his grandparents. My dad is no inspiration either because he lives with his parents too. He's about 24 years older than me.

I don't mind accepting this fact because if I'm not willing to do anything about it, there's no reason to complain, but what my grandmother and dad do really bug me sometimes. They over-exaggerate situations like a bomb is about to explode. My grandmother feels that I don't do things because I disrespect her. She doesn't seem to wrap around the idea that I'm 20 years old and make choices on whether I want to do things or not. And for the most part, I already make choices even before she tells me to do something. For instance:

Long story short...I park my car in a neighbor's driveway because they aren't there (for whatever reason) cause I don't like parking on the street, and newspapers still get delivered there. My grandmother is worried that my car is gonna get stolen because of the newspapers being on the driveway, and I never saw any incentive to pick up the newspapers. So if I see no incentive to pick them up, I'm not gonna do something that I see no point in doing. I made that conscious decision even before my grandmother told me to. My grandmother has a superior complex, and has even bossed my own grandfather around until he got pissed off at her too. If my grandmother asks me to do things that seem reasonable, I don't object because I know that I don't have much of a choice. But when I don't do something when I have no reason to, she gets upset and claims that I don't do something because I don't respect her. She has done things that deserves a certain amount of respect such as not throwing me out of the house, paying for food, paying my phone bill, etc, but she's also done things that questions whether I should respect her or not...like this video I created, for instance:


(All people in this video consented to the publication of the video on the internet. No full names were in the video to protect the subjects in the video.)

She likes to be in everybody's business regardless of I ask politely not to be, she asks too many questions to the point that people feel interrogated, and she herself is disrespectful. She tries to make me feel like the bad guy, which I'm guilty of getting angry and raising my voice a couple times...but for the most part, I control my anger VERY well, I help her out when she wants me to, and at the end of the day...she drinks several glasses of wine and points the finger at me for everything. My dad and I are responsible for her "stress" and "depression" and that she can't wait till we move out. She obviously cares about me, but no matter what I say or do (and I've even gathered the strength and talked to her about how I feel) will convince to just...stop being such a bitch sometimes. I know no one perfectly, I'm certainly not, but she causes a lot of drama in the family. My dad isn't much different because he has the characteristics of a friend, but he tries to have a superior complex. He supports me, but I don't look at him like a fatherly figure -- I look at him more like a brother that disagrees with most of the things that I do. He doesn't even support that I don't want to smoke pot or drink alcohol.

That's how different he is compared to me.

He's the young pot smoker, alcohol drinker, cigarette smoker, I'm the loner with no incentive to do drugs, drink alcohol, or smoke cigarettes. Yet my dad gets upset because I drink Coke. I don't have many addictions, but the ones that I do have, he capitalizes on and also tries to make me feel like a bad person. He tries to control me, he thinks that he can change me (which ain't gonna happen unless he was a drill sergeant...and he couldn't last 5 minutes being yelled at by a drill sergeant...I know that much). He never thinks he's wrong, and he questions everything I do. If I forget to turn off the garage light, he'll be upset the whole day and start going on a tangent about how I don't take "initiative" or anything like that even though he works part time as a shoe salesman. I once made the decision to just not answer him when he tries to speak to me in a negative tone, but when I don't answer...my dad ends up grounding me from the internet or standing there till I answer, and if I DO answer, everything I say is used against me (and often my words are twisted around and changing what I really meant) and my dad tries to make me feel like a bad person. They underestimate my intelligence and everything I say is either wrong, a lie, or just used to manipulate people. I just can't stand it.

Last edited by PSY; January 20th 2011 at 06:29 PM.
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Eljoria Offline
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Re: The Grandmother & Dad (long) - January 20th 2011, 08:29 AM

Why don't you try to find help to move out as if you are going to college, there should be financial support for you. There should be something you can do.

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