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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
oceaneyes95 Offline
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Name: Lillian (Lilli)
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I just wanna leave! - January 21st 2011, 10:57 AM

So I don't know where this goes you might have to move it. Anyway i'm turning 16 next month (Febuary), and that means i'll be getting my license, and a hopefully a job at this one Christian bookstore in the nearest mall. Since there's ALOT of drama at my house I was thinking of working alot like everyday (except Sunday) since i'm home-schooled I have a more open schedule, and then I was planning on switching churches to go to this one baptist church in the town that i'll be working in because that church also has a youth group which is somthing i've been wanting to be a part of since I was like 13. I'm also planning to graduate from my home-schooleing this summer, or at least before I turn 17, so somtime within the next year. Then after I get graduated i'm planning on working 2 jobs, the bookstore and babysitting. Not to sound like I wanna use anyone or anything, but if I do end up babysitting on the side I would want to be close to the family, instead of just being "the babysitter" i'd like to be part of the family, like i'd like for them to know me how a family would know me, like i'd like to have the kinda relationship to where i'm welcome to just come over and hang out even when i'm not babysitting like even when the whole family's there like come over for dinner and things like that, and i'd like for them to know my life, and like the kinds of things that go on at my house so they can be there for me. I totally forgot to mention i'll be saving up money to buy my own car, then i'm gonna buy my own cell phone like this summer since my mom is always taking my car and phone away and my only way to get to church is a car without breaks (or anything else for that matter) sometimes. I just kinda try to stay outta the way at my house because i'm always being yelled at for stupid things, so like if some of my things are downstairs just chillin' all over the place like my hair straitener, or brush, or make up, or shoes ect. I usually try to get it to my room before anyone notices and yells at me because I feel like i'm not welcome at home, like i'm a burden, or "in everyones way". That's kinda why I just recently got rid of like all the things that you would see in a yardsale like my clothes that don't fit, or purses that I don't want, things like that I put in bags and took to a thrift store. I had about 7 trashbags full of things that were just kinda takin' up space because I try to keep my things to a minimum and in my room all orginized because I feel like a burden here, I feel like i'm not welcome, like i'm just in the way. This summer i'm even getting rid of my 2 cats because they always tear things up with their claws, and their litterbox always smells disgusting, and then when they're inside they poop all over, and pee through the vent, and things like that which causes ALOT of drama. So since i'll be working alot this summer I won't be around to take care of them and clean up after them so they gotta go . I usually am a VERY happy girl, like when i'm at church with friends, and stuff I just dance around but when i'm at home that's when I get all sad and start to feel bad, I mean just take a look at my profile. It's mostly because of all the drama and negitiveness in my house.
So anyway that's all for now this is just for the people who actually wanna read this, and help me, and give me advice, btw sorry for the poor grammar it's an issue I have
   
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Re: I just wanna leave! - January 21st 2011, 09:34 PM

Hey, I moved this to Friends and Family since a lot of the problems seem to be with your family. If you'd like me to put it somewhere else, just tell me


"Love me for me, accept the fact I'm true, live like I want, fufill my dreams,
Dream of me, run out free, capture your words and never let them go."

I'll see you on the other side.
   
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Re: I just wanna leave! - January 22nd 2011, 12:09 AM

Hey there, Lilli!

I think it's great that you have a plan. =) A pretty realistic one, too. You know where you want to work, what you need in order to get to work/be more independent, and you even have some long-term goals in mind. As far as the baby-sitting goes, I think your best bet would be to offer your services through the church. You can meet members of the congregation, meet their kids when they come out of Sunday school, and slowly become an honorary member of the family.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation at home. While I can understand why your family would be upset about the cats making messes, or you leaving things lying around in the common areas, I do think it's wrong for them to yell at you, and their punishments (taking away your car/cell phone) seem a bit extreme. All I can really suggest is that you keep doing what you feel is necessary in order to avoid further punishment. Since you are 15, they could make it very difficult for you to get to your job at the Christian bookstore by grounding you and essentially forcing you to quit. Keep your plan in mind - a bit of sacrifice now will allow you to get what you want in the long run. =)

I wish you all the best. <3





   
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Re: I just wanna leave! - January 22nd 2011, 02:29 AM

Hey there I just want to say that I completely 100% understand what you are going through!!! I am going through a pretty similar situation right now. It is great that you want to get more involved in a church and a youth group. That is what is getting me through right now. It is an amazing resource to have. Unfortunately you are not of age to where you can move out but hopefully with the church and babysitting, you will be able to manage until you are of age.

I am more than willing to talk anytime. So PM or VM, or email me anytime! I'm here for you! I hope that things work out!
   
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oceaneyes95 Offline
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Re: I just wanna leave! - January 22nd 2011, 10:34 AM

Yeah PSY the whole car and cell phone being taken away isn't really punishment my mom does it when she throws temper tantrums. One more thing I left out is that she lets my brothers and sister say and do whatever they want to me, and then when I tell her to make them stop she blames me, and and gives me their punishment like i'm in the wrong it's always been that way! But thanks to all of you for actaully reading all of my post and actually makeing an effort to give me the best advice!
   
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Re: I just wanna leave! - January 22nd 2011, 01:16 PM

As a youth pastor I hope you do find a youth group. Something I've realized the past 6 years is how important a church family is. If you get into a youth group it could help out by talking to the youth pastor about things going on or a youth leader within the department. It will also help to find some friends and if the youth group has a lot going on then you could be at church quite a bit with different events like Disciple Now, Youth Camp, little trips here and there, etc. I'm at a Baptist church also.


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