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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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I really shouldn't care... - January 28th 2011, 04:22 AM

because it's not like we're best friends or anything. We're more like acquaintances bordering on a friendship. But there's this guy that I have a lot of classes with and I've been in school with him since 9th grade, but I didn't truly start to get to know him and actually talk to him until this year. But anyways, we started talking and he's fun to talk to and kind of like this breath of fresh air in my day. I can talk to him once and be happy the entire day. It's..... amazing. But he drinks and does drugs every weekend. I mean, I know it's not my life and I can't control what he does, but that's all he seems to care about sometimes. Going out with guys that are 2-3 years older than he is and getting high or getting so wasted that he can't even remember what he did over the weekend. He talks bout it to me and most of the time I try to laugh it off and treat it like it's something that I understand. But I don't. I never understood the point of getting so high or so drunk that you can't remember a thing. If anything, I'd be scared out of my mind. And I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm worried about him. I don't know why I care so much, but I do. I see some good in him. I see someone who can be a really great person if he wasn't so focused on getting drunk all the time.

Sorry that that was so long. If you read the whole thing, thank you for listening.




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Re: I really shouldn't care... - January 28th 2011, 10:27 PM

Hey, Dani! =) Even if you aren't the closest of friends, he IS a fellow human being. It's only natural to worry. Have you considered telling him how you feel? Maybe you'd be the first person to show you actually care. Maybe he'd listen, and be willing to talk about why he drinks/drugs himself into oblivion every weekend. Of course, there's also the possibility that he'll shut down and stop telling you about what he does, but at least you'll be doing something for him as a friend (and hopefully giving yourself some peace of mind).





   
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Re: I really shouldn't care... - January 28th 2011, 10:59 PM

Hello. Thanks for replying. I do, in a way, tell him where I stand as far as drugs and drinking are concerned. He knows that I don't like it. He even went as far as promising me that he wouldn't drink or smoke until prom (in May). But he's funny in that I don't know if he gets a lot of people talking to him about their feelings and such because the other day we were in class together and because we sit right next to each other I heard him say that he had a headache. I could sympathize with him because I get headaches 3-4 times a week. It never fails. But I asked him if he was alright and if he needed some water that I had in my bag. He told me no and we went our separate ways to our other classes when the bell rang. The weird thing is, he hasn't talked to me since. I don't know if I'm reading too much into it or what because this guy really does brighten up my day when he talks to me, but what I can't get passed is the fact that he talks about drugs and alcohol and sex and it's like his world revolves around this stuff. It's just something I'm not used to. And what sucks the most, is that I'm starting to like him as more than just a friend. I don't want to trust him, however, because with his personality (popular, jock, cute, outgoing) it would be easy for him to forget all about me and move on.......

Sorry about that. That last part was mostly my ramblings. I'm just confused right now about this guy because I want to be his friend, but there seems to be a million reasons why I shouldn't.




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