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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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codedmaster Offline
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Unhappy Coming off strong in a sympathy email - January 28th 2011, 10:03 PM

I think I could have jepodized my friendship with this girl.

It all started yesterday when she walking in the chemistry class crying. I didn't want to intrude so I didn't ask her directly what was troubling her only weather she was alright and weather the problem had been resolved. She just said that she was fine however she could do nothing about what was troubling her. I guessed (wrongly) that the reason why she was upset was because she had a berevement.

So I decided to buy her a card. Write a message of sympathy and give it to her. However when I went to give it to her she said that no one had died. However she was touched by me offering her a card. Later she emailed me thanking me and telling me that her parents were planing a divorce and that she was better now.

Wanting to comfort her I replied with this message.

You parents are planning to get divorced!!
I am very sorry to hear that. Parents divorce is very sad time. If you ever need any help I am always here.
My heart goes out to you.

I am worried that I came on too strong and that she would be creeped out. We're friends but not close friends. I only really talk to her during chemistry classes. I am scared that this has ruined our friendship.

Last edited by codedmaster; January 28th 2011 at 11:02 PM.
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Re: Coming off strong in a sympathy email - January 28th 2011, 10:34 PM

I don't think it's creepy at all. When my parents divorced, I remember reaching out to people I'd never really spoken to before, and I remember people reaching out to me whom I didn't know very well. Comforting words are still comforting, even if they come from someone you aren't particularly close to. =)

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Pelios Offline
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Re: Coming off strong in a sympathy email - January 29th 2011, 08:23 PM

I think it's ok, she will need someone there though this time. It's just you telling her she has someone there if she ever needs.

Everyone is born right-handed. Only the greatest overcome it.
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Re: Coming off strong in a sympathy email - January 30th 2011, 06:06 AM

I always think of something Richard Hammond said about after his accident, something along the lines of "How could I possibly get sick of people worrying about my well-being?".
There's never anything wrong with worrying about someone. And she emailed you to thank you, meaning she is grateful and not 'creeped-out' or anything. The email is short and sweet, you're fine

When you can't run, you crawl, and when you can't crawl anymore, you find someone to carry you.
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